That said, we really don't know how the "end" will look. What does that mean? How often will there be scans? How anxious will be at every scan? What will the side effects of chemo be and how long will they last? How is going to life going to look in the POST?
There are still so many unknowns, which seems to be the case in this whole battle. The one constant, as I eluded to a few days ago is change, and the constant acceptance of that to allow us to survive, and not only to survive but to thrive. We just aren't quite sure how that's going to look or play out.
Which is totally unnerving if you think about it too long.
I've been reading a ton of cancer books and doing a ton of research on cancer for the last few months, and what seems to be the constant them is that cancer is not some sort of one-off that people just GET, by pure luck of the draw or bad luck as it is. Essentially we ALL have cancer cells. They are part of each and every one of us, and when they get out of control to form tumors, it's really more of a breakdown of the body and immune system's ability to deal with the cells. The message I keep seeing over and over and over again is that cancer is a condition that the body is able to heal ITSELF if it is given the right tools.
I truly believe this and know it's probably a controversial topic. Meaning, if Oliver had elected to not do chemo and go a more natural route, I'm sure we would not have been short on any amount of backlash. It's ridiculous to digress and dissect if chemo was the right move for him. At this point, it is what it is, and we felt that it was the right choice when it was made, and it's the route we chose. There's no point in the "what if's" now. All western doctors would have said, the result would have been fatal if he did not go that route, so we did the best we could with the information we had.
Based on the research I've done, I'm not convinced that chemo is always the right route, and I'm equally not convinced by how such a harmful "treatment" heals, especially given ALL of the side effects, but again, that is neither here nor there in this case.
What I CAN use this knowledge for is: post treatment. Let's not be ignorant about the things that can help a body heal. Let's introduce the right foods, the right exercise, sunlight, and on and on. Let's do the best we can to set Oliver (and ourselves) up for success and a long and happy life. We are hopeful Oliver will latch on and use some of this to help combat any future detrimental diseases, but we have to be able to convey and then to use the knowledge we have gleaned. And sometimes, that is not always easy. But, WHAT IF, for all of us, it WERE that easy? Just by the power of our choices, we could change the trajectory of our future and make ourselves, as well as everyone around us healthier?
I digress. But it's something I've been pondering pretty extensively the last few days. Likely more to come on exactly what steps seem to be most impactful to help the human body heal and combat illness. I'm probably a nerd, but it's completely fascinating.
Day 44 started off with some chill time on the couch for Oliver. He's still at about a 5-6 this recovery round.
Day 44 was also the day of the birthday parties. Justin, the boys, and I set off at 9:30am for a day of craziness. We had THREE (3!) birthday parties to attend for 5 kiddos. We were pretty non-committal to all of them until about the day prior, as we just didn't know how Oliver would be doing and if we would make it. On Friday we decided it was looking good so Saturday we took deep breaths and buckled up for the day of fun.
Party #1 in Issaquah for a family friend who turned a big one! Bennett did not let one arm slow him down on the playground.
It was a quick stop at party #2 before heading to party #3, back at Lake Sammamish, for a buddy of Owen's from school (and his twin sister). First up: a swim with friends. Yes! Bennett didn't last long in the water as he dove in and didn't realize how shallow it was and hit his nose. Ha.
The kids LOVED the piñata. Even B smacked the crap out of it one-handed. I am now being requested to get them one for their birthdays. Yay. (Their birthdays of which I am now scrambling as they are in 3 weeks... and we were going to have a party at the jumpy house. Annnnd, broken collarbone.....on to plan B and I have NO CLUE what plan B is!)
We spent a couple of hours at party #3 before heading back home. We were wiped, but the kids had a blast. Once we got home, Owen went straight to work (I KNOW?!) Our neighbor hired him to water for her, and we pulled in and said, "mom, I have a job to do!" Cool!
Oliver's day at home was much less exciting than ours. A lot of rest. Staying on meds. A lot of trying to push liquids in. And food. He has MUCH less of an appetite right now, even with the THC. We are thinking some of the issue this round could be mental as well. Just anxiety building up to round 3, and worrying he will feel even worse. It's hard to really say and to get a read, because he is so quiet about it. We are doing the best we can, and know he appreciates the effort, but it's hard. He feels like crap and there's not a whole lot we can do to make it better. At least not WAY better. We just have the tools to take the edge off, but he's just not going to be 100% right now, unfortunately.
Colleen did manage to make him sit out in the sun for a few minutes today, which is great (of course, he did not think so!) But, I said, look at those healing vibes coming!
And looked who popped up on Colleen's facebook feed today. This is the Oliver I remember from when I met him. What a little stud he was (still is!)
Instead of #oliverstrong bracelets today, we got some shots of decals that some friends had bought- how cool is this!
We have one more day of recovery, and then chemo round 3 starts again all over on Monday, with the looong stretch of 5 days of 10 hour days. It is nothing short of brutal, and I think that may be kind of where Oliver's head is right now, if I had to speculate. But, we are ever hopeful that this is likely the LAST round, so there is that redeeming factor. We have to choose to focus on that to get us through these next few weeks. #oliverstrong.
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