It's been an interesting perspective, as with almost everything in this process- the whole TIME factor. When you are just crunching away through life doing the same in, same out, time seems to just pass. The days run together, and of course there are highlights and low lights, but it kind of all seems to blur...get up in the morning, work, maybe squeeze in a workout, play with the kids, dinner, bath, bed, repeat. Weekends maybe slightly different with trips or house projects or something a little more unique than the monotony of the weekdays. Some work trips thrown in here and there for a little more flavor, maybe some rounds of golf for me in the summer months. But basically- the same day to day. So from June 7- July 7 in normal circumstances? I would think- wow, that time flew. Nothing really notable but man, it went fast. Maybe I would remember some trips, some moments or an overarching sense of just trying to do our best to raise the little kids, but certainly would not feel like that month was a huge growth experience. Isn't that kind of sad?
Although I would not wish a cancer experience on anyone, it's made me (as well as my other comrades in this), appreciate each day. Each day is an opportunity for something, as well as a chance also to be grateful for what we DO have (and also what we don't have in that: if you don't have cancer there's something to be grateful for right there!) We learn from the bad days, we cry on the sad days, we enjoy the good days, we celebrate the best days. I used to think when I heard that someone only had months to live how sad that was. I mean, obviously, it is STILL SAD, but I think from this whole experience, I have learned that even if you ONLY had a few months- you have the opportunity to change and grow and make an impact. Why do we typically define our life in years, or longer? Each DAY we can change. Each MOMENT. And we should never, ever stop learning or have the cop out idea that we can't learn anymore. I have learned more in this past month than I have in YEARS, and it was all involuntary. Think about what we could do with that time if we chose to take the days to learn and grow on a voluntary basis!
I know this sounds cliché. But, after the past month of utterly new experiences, and having each day be different, I truly believe each day is a chance to take each day and make something of it- with each other, in our knowledge or passions, and to enrich our lives in some way. I promise I didn't steal any of Oliver's THC. But SERIOUSLY. It's been a month and it seems like it's been YEARS. While there were many tough moments in there, how cool is it that we have the opportunity to feel like we've extended our time? Or maybe not so much that, but to make our time seem longer because each moment is impactful and we are grateful for it?
Off of the soapbox.
Our first day in to the 30's was relatively uneventful, which is a good thing. Bailey and Angel spent the night last night in the trailer, which was a lot of fun as they were able to hang with us all day today. Oliver felt slightly better today than yesterday (about a consistent 7-8 versus a 9), so that was good also. In Oliver's words this morning, "Well, I don't feel like complete ass this morning." HA! We re-introduced Ativan which helped to take the edge off even more along with the marijuana. It seems to be helping. He still feels mostly like holy hell in terms of nausea, but again, this round he is able to at least talk to us, and better yet- eat.
He's also continued to lose more hair (as can be seen in the below picture). Also: he looks pretty miserable here. Poor guy.
I snuck in another ride this afternoon while everyone else played outside (well, except for Oliver).
Bennett had poppy dig out a bike attachment that fits him just perfectly. He was SO excited.
I took a picture of my shirt yesterday, as I thought the message was fitting. I have no idea where I got this shirt and have honestly never seen or worn it before. But, the message meant a lot yesterday. "Strength is beauty." And my thought didn't go directly to lifting heavy weights or anything of that nature. It went to Oliver and the strength and endurance he has shown in this fight, and just how beautiful that fight has been.
Last night Colleen made some cookies, and Oliver definitely stole a couple. So cute! Chemo truly is a bit like pregnancy in determining what tastes good and the random cravings. These cookies were to give to our friend Collette for her amazing soup that she made for Oliver.
We asked him to write a thank you note for the soup, and he did an awesome job! (And there are so many thank you notes owed at this point.... we know!)
Hanging and eating more with Bailey and Angel while they were still around.
Last night: super tired kids is the equation for early baths, bedtime, and family movie night on the couch. Of course kid pick movies are ALWAYS entertaining. I believe last night was lego star wars.
A few more #oliverstrong photos in, including one of our cats (who are currently being fostered by our good friends). Pretty dang cute. I think the cats might actually be happier there vs here and being tormented by two little boys. Ha!
A friend posted this on my facebook wall yesterday, and it couldn't be more true. As an adopted kid, I know for a fact that family is not defined by blood, and this whole experience has solidified that sentiment even further in our extended family- both bloodlines, family without being blood related, and friends who are more like family. #oliverstrong
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