Day 54: July 30, 2019

We are definitely at the tail end of this process. I feel like a broken record of: we are hanging in there. Nothing really new to report. Things are slowly feeling like they are somewhat getting back to "normal" in terms of: Justin and I are both working, Justin is starting to pick up the house projects again (case in point: TREES!) We are not so concerned about shuffling the kids here, there and everywhere because Justin is mostly around to take care of them, as per usual, while I'm working. We haven't had any incidents of fever or needing to run to the ER for Oliver. So, kind of status quo... a new normal, but easing in to it nonetheless.


In another couple of weeks, we will likely experience another shift. An end to the treatments. An easing back in to the....next phase. Whatever and however that looks, we really don't know. We are seeing medical bills pile in which indicates that we are nearing the end of SOMETHING in terms of: we clearly have been at this long enough to start to see the after path and the impact of what we've been doing. (Also: yay? No. Actually: scary for Oliver in terms of the financial impact of healing!) I mean, it's never been about money or how much the treatment costs, but HOLY COW. It is astounding how much the cost of treatment is.


In terms of easing back in to normal life, I totally slacked on the pictures today... which means, today was by all accounts "normal." It started off Colleen getting Oliver more anti-nausea meds to keep that under control, Justin and the little boys running errands, and me working away. Again, pretty normal by all accounts.


Also, since it is day #9 of round 3, we started the shots again in Oliver's stomach. Again, totally neglected a picture. Whoops! The one phase that I think has been uttered most around here in the last few days is "OVER IT." As in we are all just over it. Utterly and completely. Obviously staying strong, and fighting until the end, but just ready to be AT THE END. The person who mostly wants to be at the end, is Oliver. He's definitely crabby, as any of us would be, just grouchy and overall snippy. I think the volume of the little boys is annoying him, as much as we try to keep them outside and away from his space. So, all of that said, he and Colleen decided to go back to Wenatchee for a few days in this recovery period. I think he needed a change of scenery and some solitude from the chaos of our house that is constant movement with two little kids and things constantly happening.


After they left: boys working on cars:

I think the little boys were excited to have some free reign as well in terms of not being constantly told to use their whisper voices and not move/jump as little boys are so inclined to do. They totally understand Oliver is not feeling well, so they've just been loud and jumping outside. Hard to totally tamper that all the time in the house, but we've tried!  They are here playing the spinning game after dinner. The decibels and laughs were....loud. But joyous. Hilarious.

Following a pretty big day of all things that are summer (IE: PLAYING!), we settled in for family movie night on the couch. Look at those profiles... I think they MIGHT be related.

We got word from Colleen that she and Oliver had made it back safe and sound to Wenatchee and Oliver was feeling a comfortable 6, which was great news on all fronts. He had settled in, was eating well, and doing great. This is SO much better than the throes of day #9 in round 1 or even round 2, both of which we were either in the hospital or just back from the hospital. A low key recovery period is just what we needed in this final round. #oliverstrong.

Day 53: July 29, 2019

Day #8, round 3. Technically the second to last day of chemo. So only ONE MORE after this one. I think we are all getting towards the end of our ropes. The first round was mostly nerves and not really sure what was going to happen. The second round we had figured out a plan and were ready to fight! The third round, especially as we are nearing the end, I think we are all tired. Oliver, especially, is a bit grumpy. It is comparable (not that anything is really comparable) to the 9th month of pregnancy where you are just PISSED, huge and ready to be done. Basically, you are over it. And over it, we all are. ESPECIALLY Oliver. When you wake up everyday feeling like complete crap, it takes a toll.


That said, we are hopeful in that we CAN see the light. The numbers look promising enough to give us hope that this is the final round. We have to focus on that because if there is more, it would just feel defeating at this point. So we are throwing out to the world that we believe this to be the last, and are confident that will be the case.


Starting off day 53 with a 9am blood draw at SCCA, and mom ensuring that Oliver only got poked once with the IV try (IE: make sure it's not a novice doing it):

Meeting with the doctor went well again. Everything looks normal. Weight was down slightly but nothing to be concerned about. Vitals look good, which means his body is still responding well to treatment. His electrolytes were down slightly, so just an added emphasis on keeping him drinking. He was at about a consistent 7 all day today- so not feeling super hot. But, again, we have a method of meds that seem to be working, so we can stay on those well enough to keep a handle on it and to keep him eating.

A 7 is still pretty terrible, however. Think about it- on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst.... feeling like a 7, or 8, or 9 every day for WEEKS on end- you just start to get mad. And don't even really have the energy to be mad because you feel like such crap. Think: worst flu ever. Times 53 days. It doesn't help when SCCA scheduling sucks and gives you HOURS to wait in between doctor visits and infusion time. They say they do this in case doctors are running late- well, our doctor never is. So we end up waiting forever. Which really sucks when Oliver doesn't feel well. After a while, Colleen was able to talk them in to letting us back early to give him some relief.

Got back to the room, got some more drugs, and promptly was able to pass out. Thank god.  It was a pretty short lived nap as today's infusion was just the bleo- a ten minute one. They were only in the infusion room for about an hour before they headed home.

Meanwhile, I had taken the little boys over to Miss Collette's for a few hours of play time so I could get some work done.

Oliver got home and settled and spent the afternoon hanging with girlfriend Lexi. He also got some visitors from his uncle/aunt and cousins (Colleen's brother and family)-- of which I forgot to take pictures. It was a pretty busy day for him!

Bennett had a busy day too-- here he is bound and determined to have safety first as they attempt to build a bike course in our yard.

And playing frisbee this evening. These little guys are so funny- you never know what's going to strike them as the MOST FUN GAME EVER. This made the list for some reason today, despite the fact that we've had these frisbees forever. 

Our #oliverstrong shot today comes from the mountains. Soon, we will be back there ourselves. So much peace in the mountains and being out in them. Can't wait to get back out there. #oliverstrong.

Day 52: July 28, 2019

Somehow we are almost to August. Let that sink in for a moment. Maybe a lot of people feel like they have adequately lived through 7 full months this year, and so that makes sense. There is nothing in my head right now where it makes sense that it is almost AUGUST. I mean, what? It doesn't help matters that our time effectively stopped in mid May. And the last 52 days have been a blur. Of time, of course, but while we obviously LIVED those days, they were days in which were just a big blob of what we call cancer treatment and so feel like they shouldn't count in our march through time to AUGUST.


Like why can't we just accept that time stopped in May, go through the chemo/cancer treatment for 70 days, but then get to go back to that day that time stopped AFTER treatment and relive the last 70 days without the chemo and cancer?


Then it might make more sense that it is almost August.


Clearly, it doesn't work like that, but I just can't quite connect the dots that we are almost to the 8th month of the year. And I really have no idea how we got here. It feels like when you watch something on fast forward... like we just watched our lives flash by and tried to kind of grasp what was happening in the blur, but couldn't really take hold. That's about where I'm at right now.


The day started with more of the 600 tree clean up! Wait, back up- I lied. It started by Justin taking the boys to pick up a giant door that weighed no less than 500 pounds....which I then helped him unload later in the day. Muscles! Colleen and I ran to get some things for juicing while they were gone... juicing is supposed to be SO good- for everyone, really, but especially for cancer patients and helping to detox after chemo.


After that, it was tree clean up time. Again.

While we were working on the incredible amount of trees, Colleen took the boys to the river. It was a hot sunny day, so sounds like there were a ton of people down there, but the boys had a blast. Also- when did they get so big??

Colleen also got them ice cream treats after they got home. Happy boys of summer right there!

Later in the day: Owen at work watering for our neighbor. He's so cute how seriously he takes it.

And true to his personality, Bennett was a superintendent telling Owen what he should be doing. Ha!

After some work, the other boy got to play with HIS toys...

And how's the main guy? He's ok. Not great. Not awful. We aren't in the hospital. For day 7, round 3, that is winning. He's about a consistent 5-7, but with THC and other meds, it seems we can kind of control the nausea. He said this morning "I feel better than yesterday, but still feel like total shit- guess that's why there are drugs!"

He was able to take a walk down to the mailbox again, which is a total win for day 7, based on past history. He was NOT walking anywhere on day 7 on either of the first two rounds. So that is a huge victory in the mind over matter game.

And just because he's cute: big guy showing us he can wash his own hair at the end of a very dirty day, which is how boys should be in summer.

SO many #oliverstrong photos today! These are still so heartwarming. We even got a note from a friend who said that she got a chicken and named it Oli, in Oliver's honor. So sweet.

And finally, big brother Bailey rocking #oliverstrong on his work hard hat. Love it.

Now we move in to the final 2 weeks of round 3. Tomorrow- short day of chemo,  and hopefully an easy recovery. #oliverstrong

Day 51: July 27, 2019

Day 51, or also known as The Day The Trees Came Down. I sort of eluded that this was going to happen in my post yesterday. LITTLE DID I KNOW: we were talking about 20 trees. 2-0. And not little trees. Big freaking everygreens, the smallest being probably two stories tall. Not kidding.


It was a disaster.


Luckily we had warned our neighbors that the road would be blocked- two were out of town and one was not going anywhere. Which was good... because the road was blocked from about 9am to 5pm with down trees. Justin chain sawed for a good 7 hours alongside the tree guy (who was here for about 4). Bailey and I both worked to help clean up- I was out there for about 4-5 hours.


I remember muttering during a million runs of the pick up game, just another freaking crazy ideas, freaking JUSTIN. Just another one of his loony ideas that seems like a good idea until he forgets that the "little" trees are only little compared to the 200 foot evergreens NEXT to the little ones. THEY ARE NOT LITTLE.  WHAT WAS HE THINKING? Twenty?! I mean... seriously? Maybe start with ONE?


But you know what?


At 6pm when we finally sort of finished (not really...still giant piles of trees out there we need to deal with, but our driveway and our neighbors driveways are clear), I looked around and guess what? I saw sunlight. I was standing in our driveway and instead of being shaded in, the light was coming through. And I was shocked.


We are not known for being conservative and not biting off more than we can chew. This is pretty typical where we just dive on in and then deal with the aftermath (I would say we are both guilty of this in many respects). But regardless of the clean up, regardless of spending our day in a little bit of a different way than expected, at the end of the day, the results were...astounding. The amount of light we let in, the team effort it took to get there... we felt accomplished. A team. And we saw what the end result was going to be. And it was worth it.


Ready for this?


This is what Oliver's treatment has been like. A virtual 20 tree tear down. All in. Dealing with the aftermath, because we weren't really sure of the size of obstacles (trees) we were going to have to conquer. And at times, it has been a complete and utter disaster. Where we just looked around and weren't even sure where to begin. And didn't feel like the mess would ever end. But, at the end of the day, we pulled together, worked as a team, and could see the light. I am 100% not kidding you, this is what occurred to me as I was standing there looking at the complete change in my yard last night. I was covered in sap, had tree guts down my shirt, my pants, and in my hair, and had carried no less than 600 logs, but I saw the light and realized how similar this brief day adventure was to Oliver's story. Sometimes life is funny like that- the parallels and the lessons in the day to day to the biggest, hardest formative experiences.


Bright and early at 8:30am, the fun started:

The kids were fascinated (of course!)

I was with them watching and they were showing me their cars.

 See the guy up there in about middle right of the picture? Yeah. Sketch. Big enough trees you have to climb up them and chunk off in pieces. Yikes. No thank you.

These were about 10 of the "smaller" ones... PSA: the small ones are still big and make a giant mess!

Quick break inside for some water with brother Bailey who came up for a few hours to visit.

While we were in the land of trees, Oliver spent most of the day like the below. Actually, he spent a big chunk of the day in bed in his bedroom. Day 6 is historically one of the worst, and he just felt like crap. He was able to manage and fight through if he just laid down and stayed still. While it sucks that he feels so bad, it was a MUCH better day 6 than round 1. Round 2 was probably comparable, but I think this was even better than that because he is mentally fighting... I think it helps that he knows that the hurdles are getting close to being towards the end.

We spent the later hours of the evening outside... the boys worked on cars and I just enjoyed the nice evening. I love summer!

We had a little more fun with snap chat... as Colleen said, how many sitting and sleeping pictures can we take? Ha!

And at around 7:30 pm, Oliver said, ok, I think I am ready to go somewhere. Wow, really? Day 6! Ok, let's do it! So he and Colleen trekked to the mailbox. That is a HUGE win and accomplishment for day freaking 6! That is absolutely like seeing how much of a difference taking trees down is....complete light and hope at the end of the day.

So much #oliverstrong today. There was a shift in him, a fight we haven't quite seen before. It felt like a shift in how he's doing mentally. The #oliverstrong today was defined BY HIM in his fight and his vigilance to make it through even what is typically the hardest day. What an inspiration to us all.