Saturday, July 20, 2019

Day 43: July 19, 2019

Speaking about change yesterday: I took a baby step. I recognized when I needed to just slow down.


This might not sound like a big deal to anyone. It is a HUGE deal to me. I'm used to going 60000 miles per hour. I don't even know the last time I sat down to watch TV. I know there's supposedly cool movies, series, shows out there, but if you asked me about any,  I'd look at you like I had just resurfaced from time spent for 40 years in a hut in the woods. I haven't seen a movie in...I don't know, years?


That is partly due to the fact that my "chill" time (as Owen calls it) is pretty limited (IE: the going 60000 miles per hour thing) and usually is carved out only for some form of exercise: lifting, biking, hiking, whatever the case. It's where I find my peace and my sanity, and have never really found it in front of a screen. But that's maybe an hour a day.


Lately, if I'm not in a hospital, I'm running the kids around or running around with them. Two little boys that are happiest when THEY are moving 100 miles per hour is like trying to wear out a puppy that doesn't tire (they are OUR kids...) Or, if I'm not in the hospital or with kids, I'm working. And work... I love my job, but it takes a lot. I love it, and I get a lot of satisfaction out of it, but it does take a lot of my time. I carve this blog time in to the wee hours of the morning, and late hours of the night, which has honestly not been a small feat, but I'm happy to do it. We have  no less than 500 house projects going on at the moment with the renovation that NEVER ENDS, and so if I am not trying to work on one of those, I have no less than 5000000 weeds and pine needles that are my NEMSIS that probably need my effort, or about 30 bags of mulch right now that won't spread themselves.


Like I said, the working out time of one hour a day is my escape from all of the rest of the craze. We had several vacations planned this summer, but for obvious reasons they didn't happen this year. My days off have been really mostly spent in the hospital or here at home on days where recovery from chemo is not low key, to say the least.


I don't say all of this to complain, by any stretch. It's my life, and I love it. I choose it. That said, in the CHANGE vein, after I posted all of that mumbo, I realized today... ok. I need a day. A day to do things that are what I want to do, just for me.


Like I said, this is HUGE for me.


The day started off pretty normally, and not in this mindset. I was up early working, and checked in with our friends east of the mountains. Oliver had a pretty uneventful night. He told his mom he wanted to get back to home today so that he could settle in for the weekend. We were expecting to not see them until Saturday, so this was good news! The house was oddly...quiet... without them here. We didn't even tell the boys at first because we knew we would get about 600 questions per hour of when Colleen and Oliver would be home. Ha!





After I worked for a few hours, we set out to take Owen to Grace's (hello video games), which he felt the better alternative than going to the doctor with us for follow up on Bennett's collarbone because as Owen said, "doctors are weird." Bennett was NOT excited to go, either.... in the below picture "I don't want to go to the doctor."



But, alas, he went...sorry little guy, we all have to do things we don't want to do!




The appointment went well. They did not take another x-ray. The doctor basically said that they really only will do surgery on this type of break on adults who are cyclists. In about 3 weeks, he should be feeling much better and will want to take the sling off (and probably run wild as ever...) and we have to try to keep him tame for about 6 weeks. We have a follow up in about 3 weeks for another x-ray to make sure it's all healing ok, but it should be just fine. TBD if he is ever going to not wear the hospital gown.... !





Bennett was distraught that Owen would get more time at Grace's, so we took him over there to join Owen after his appointment, with the intent that Justin was going to work around the house and I would cram some more of my own work in.

Which is when I decided I needed a day. For me. No kids, no work, no house projects, no hospitals (well, minus the one we spent the morning at- ha!)  Like I said: HUGE for me.

Instead of working, I basically said, you know what.... I need some time. Which I might regret later because the work is still there. The mulch is still there. The kids are always kind of a mess after playing video games today. But whatever! We'll all live.  And, gosh, it was nice. I quite literally put on some shorts, sunglasses, and READ A BOOK IN THE SUN. This was amazing! And after that, I said, goodness that was nice, you know what, I'm just going to take the afternoon...FOR ME. So, then I went on a bike ride. It's hard for me to just say, ok, me time. But in the effort of change myself, recognizing when and doing it without guilt- for not working, for not being with the kids, whatever- I am trying. It was nice. I should probably do that more often.  

Meanwhile, Justin did do some house stuff as in lumber jack style: massive wood splitting. The deal is: he splits, and I move it. So guess what I am doing this weekend. Ha!



Meanwhile a picture of the kids with Grace. SO cute.



Around 4:30pm, we went to get the kids at Grace's and Justin brought the RC cars to show Grace. Ha.





Apparently this guy was tired from a day full of video games. Haha!


When we got home, Colleen and Oliver were home, and the kids were SO excited! However, the meltdowns from being hungry for dinner sort of prevented some of that from showing through initially.... Welcome home to meltdown city! I'm sure everyone missed the double meltdowns!

After we got them fed, and sugar levels appropriately handled (meaning, the kids returned from being crazed) we took out for a family stroll. OH yes, this is Bennett in a bike helmet. The one that probably saved his life. He wanted to ride. We said no. We have 5 more weeks of saying no. Send help.


We settled on the dual bike, which pacified him.







Oliver made it a good chunk of the way, which was great. He is definitely feeling much worse this round in the recovery week than in the first round. A consistent 5, is about what we've been at. But, he got out and did it, which was awesome.




Don't judge based on Bennett's never ending messy face... face of kids in the summer.



I LOVE these photos of Oliver and Owen. So super cute.




And these: 3 of the Valente brothers. Love it.









And the series that prompted the messy face: destruction of the ice cream cone (which, by the way, is what summers are all about!):






Oliver settling in for the evening. Feeling pretty good last night, thanks to Zofran and a little weed. We also game planned for round 3 that starts next week, and how we can do better to help him and keep him comfortable. Mostly just staying on top of the Zofran and pot and using the Ativan as needed. I think Oliver is a little anxious going in to round 3, as we all are. It was a low key day, and nothing too exciting or anything that required huge amounts of adrenaline to handle, which was a very good thing. I think we are all going to take the next few days just to ease in to what the next week holds in round 3.



And, another #oliverstrong photo we received today. Loving it!






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