With Owen, I did a monthly round up of "body after baby" complete with measurements, pictures, and the like. For now, I have vetoed that with this second round. I don't know why. I just haven't felt like it. Something about trying to squeeze in to a bikini to take pictures of the process just seems depressing... While it would be raw and real and probably offer more insight than just my brain or the scale, I just haven't been in the brain space to go there yet this time around. So, I'll just write about it as a clif notes version.
BODY
As of month one, I was down to 134 pounds, from 155 as a high when Bennett was born (give or take a couple of pounds as I hadn't weighed myself close to when he was born). I was 138 pounds just a day or two after he was born, so lost probably a pound or so a week for the remainder of the month. In all honestly, I think I probably lost those 4 pounds in the second week or so, and then stayed stagnant until the end of month one (where I remain). A word on losing the pregnancy weight: first of all, it sucks. It never comes off fast for me. With Owen, I didn't truly feel like I had my body back until probably 15 month post-partum. It was a SLOW process which drove me mad. I'm not sure how people lose weight while breastfeeding but my body did not (and still doesn't) respond to breastfeeding in this way. Quite the contrary. It actually holds on to fat while I am breastfeeding. Perhaps this is because I was so small to begin with, I don't know, but this time around I know the experience will be similar. I started working out in the second week after the birth and have done really well at easing back in but I mostly feel fat and jiggly. I am in complete admiration of my body for the amazing baby it created, but it's still hard to be carrying around 20 extra pounds and know that for the better part of a year, it's going to be a struggle to fit in to your "normal" clothes. Just being honest here. It's really hard for me.
Despite the weight, I am completely impressed with how my body handled labor and recovery from delivery. Minimal bleeding, no tearing. It was amazing.
MIND
My emotions after giving birth were a little all over the place in the first week. Since I do encapsulate my placenta and started taking that relatively shortly after birth, I've seen marked improvements. No severe fluxes in emotions and more just breakdowns when I have two kids screaming for hours (probably more like just an HOUR that feels like multiple hours) on end. I think that this is more a function of what I'm dealing with (two kids) versus crazy hormones. I am pretty pleased with how I've been in that regard. I was very sad about losing the newborn phase and for that I will blame hormones.
OVERALL
Overall I think I'm doing pretty well. Trying to keep my emotions about my body in check and remembering to take it all slowly (IE: it took 9 months to build the baby, it's going to take time to come off). Some days are harder than others in this regard but overall I am doing ok. I know maybe the measurements and weigh ins would be more helpful to really see how I'm doing but so far, I just haven't felt up to it. Maybe next month!
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