Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Month 1: Dear Bennett,

You recently turned one month old. Ok, not super recently, almost a month ago recently, but that is one thing you will learn about these monthly blog posts- they will be a little behind. You can blame your brother for that, and soon enough, we can blame you too as I'm sure I'll be chasing you both all over hell and back.
 
Pictures to commemorate month 1:
 




 
It's hard to believe that the first month went by so fast. I'm not sure why I'm so surprised because two years of your brothers life was gone in the blink of an eye. For some reason, I thought time would be on my side and just slow the hell down with you... you know, so that I could enjoy every second more. Sadly, that did not happen. A month was over and gone before we knew it. Part of this actually could be the fact that you were such an easy baby. If you were a screeeeamer (or SCREEEEAMER, seriously incessant), like your brother, I imagine time would have gone excrutiatingly slow. Case in point: Owen on the left above, and you on the right. You could have cared less what I was doing to you whereas Owen acted as if I just cut off all 10 toes one by one.

 
I was a little worried when you made your arrival so much earlier than expected on August 17, just in time to disrupt (ahem, cancel) your brother's birthday party. I figured, like your brother, you would be high maintenance and the whole show would be all about you. And that right there would be my lesson in stopping to compare you to your older brother because if I've learned anything from your pregnancy to your labor to your birth to your first month it is this: you are really NOTHING like your brother was in those stages.  

 
I am sorry in advance for the constant comparisons you will undoubtedly get over the course of your life to Owen, but, I am also proud of you (already!) for making it known in your quiet way that you are indeed your own little person and don't need to be compared to the older turtle.


You are such a mellow baby, little B. You were from the instant that you entered this world.

 
You came out in the water, and I immediately pulled you to my chest. We were actually rather worried that something was wrong with you because you didn't cry. You just looked up at me and while the midwives were kind of freaking out about the no crying thing, I knew you were ok in that first glance.

 
Eventually you did let out a little yelp, but it was more I think to appease everyone that you were just fine, thank you very much. You've continued to be this way. You don't get very vocal unless there is something really wrong, as in food is not coming fast enough, or the dang diaper is dirty, or if you have some gas/reflux as a result of an insensitivity to my diet (funny enough, a similarity you DO share with your brother). I would love to not have this detox period after pregnancy wherein I only eat about 5 different foods that seem to be "OK" foods for my babies which include (for you), sweet potatoes, oatmeal, coconut oil, beef (barf), and some greens. It probably is good ultimately since at the end of pregnancy I was eating gluten free animal crackers (cookies) like it was my day job, and this will allow me to return to clean eating easier, but still, it is not really ideal other than the fact that it keeps you and your gut happier.

 
Speaking of your gut, you are more of the puker of the family. You have already out-spit up your brother by about 1000%. He NEVER spit up (I think the gods of all things barf were looking out for your poor first time barf paranoid mom). However, you have spit up quite a few times. Every other day, maybe? And several times all over me. It's a drop in the bucket now, whereas if Owen had done that on top of screaming, I may have put him in a box on the corner of the street. KIDDING. But your mom really doesn't like barf so the fact that you puke all over me and I don't even flinch now is proof that either I have come a long way or I really love you. Probably both. But save the big kid barf for your poppy, ok?

 
You are, contradictory to your personality as a whole, a very loud sleeper. We call you our little rhinoceros for the noises you make at night. But they are not unpleasant, it's just grunts and groans that would be otherwise adorable if they weren't happening at 3am.

 
You came out with a full head of curly blonde hair, which has since proceeded to fall out much like Owen's did. But this time, it hasn't grown back in red though it's starting to take on a bit of a reddish hue. We aren't quite sure where the red comes from for either of you, but we are still thinking you might be more on the blonde side.

 
Right around a month old, you also got an insane case of baby acne and cradle cap (again new things for us, as Owen had neither). This coupled with the hair that had fallen out, made you look part old man, part teenage boy all at once. It was comical to say the least (sorry).


You were also MUCH bigger than your older brother at 8 pounds 7 ounces, almost exceeding your brother by a full pound and you were 3 weeks early. You measured in at a height of 20 inches but we are a bit skeptical that was correct as your 2 week measurement showed that you grew 2 inches in 2 weeks which is highly impossible. It is more likely that you squirmed and you were 21 inches at birth which is right in line with Owen. Either way, we are fairly sure that you are trying to be bigger than him.

 
This is a smart move on your part, as he is already well in to the fun game of "how can I torture brother?" At first, he loved to introduce you to anyone we came in to contact with. At the grocery store, he'd grab complete strangers hands and lead them to you and point. He was so proud of you. I believe that he still is just as proud of you and loves you more, but with that brotherly love comes a desire to want to pounce on you. He doesn't quite understand that you aren't quite up to the wrestling games yet.
 
 
Unfortunately for him, once you are in that mode, you are probably going to be able to take his skinny butt down. I have a feeling that you will both just tag team it against your poor poppy and in a matter of a few short months you will both be the best of buds. I have a feeling you are going to want to do anything that Owen is doing.

 
You have such a calm demeanor about you and since day 1, you've been a good sleeper.

 
You slept right through the first 24 hours of your life, only waking when we made you eat. Now you are not THAT good as there is no way in hell you will miss a meal, but we still get at least 4 hour blocks out of you at night which is AWESOME.


During the day you eat every 2-3 hours, which is really no big deal and par for the course for a little guy.

 
You started to become more alert towards the end of this first month and even cracked your first smile and coo at me. I am currently your favorite person which I will gladly allow for, as I know my time is limited in that role and it probably is only because I have the boobies right now.


A close second is your poppy, the baby whisperer, who is the one who can soothe you in the rare moments you are so upset that nothing will comfort you. He will hold you against his chest and you just breathe a deep sigh, snuggle in, and close your eyes. I don't know why this surprises me as one of my favorite places of comfort (probably THE favorite) is also your poppy's chest. It is a good place of refuge, so I can understand why you love him so much.

 
He's also soon going to be your favorite playmate... just wait.



You also met your older brothers Bailey and Oliver this month. Owen will tell you how special it is to have such older brothers. They might not share the same sentiment about having such younger brothers (mostly when said younger brothers are two and banging on everything in sight and yelling at the top of lung), but I think all things considered, they would both do anything for you and Owen and you will always have them to protect you along with your poppy and I.



 
I am also surrounded by men, and I couldn't be happier about it. Did we mention that we didn't find out if you were going to be a boy or a girl? I was convinced you would be a boy although everyone told me there was no way, you HAD to be a girl.

 
Apparently having more than three boys is unheard of? I always wanted boys, though, and knew deep down that you were exactly what I wanted. We wouldn't have loved you less if you were a girl, but I have to say, it's pretty special that you are another boy.

 
We've spent this last month looking at you and getting to know you, with a little less intensity than we did with Owen (apologies for that). You can blame Owen for the lessor time we've had to do so, because if we aren't chasing him around, it's too quiet and then you know the red bell of TROUBLE starts to sound off.

 
We've still managed to pore over you, look at your little toes, fingers, belly button, cute little baby butt, and every little detail that makes you YOU. It looks as if we will have another blue eyed babe, with hair color to be determined. You look a little bit like Owen, but a lot more chunky, and the perfect mix of your dad and I.

 
I remember when we brought Owen home, I was amazed that I'd actually kept him alive for a whole month. I was absolutely clueless and I remember on one particular day (one of my first at home alone with a newborn), I broke down in tears because I had been projectile pooped on, peed on, and had been dealing with a screaming baby for hours on end.

 
Now the miracle isn't so much that WE have kept you alive, the miracle is that we've protected you from the wrath of that first little guy, your older brother! I, for the most part, feel like a pretty relaxed parent this time around. You've pooped on me, you've peed on me, you've barfed on me... and it's all really pretty laughable.

 
I learned the first time around that this newborn phase is so fleeting. In fact, I knew it so well, that I was a little obsessive about it after you were first born. I kept thinking, "he's a day old, he's two days old, he's three days old... and so on." As if to be obsessive about how old you were, it would slow time down so that you'd always be my tiny newborn on my chest.

 
With Owen, I was concerned about keeping him alive because I knew nothing, with you, I just wanted time to stop in that newborn period so that I could enjoy it forever. We aren't sure yet if we will have more kids, so it could be the last time that we get to have those special first days. Nothing compares to the emotions of those days and the times in those first few hours. I didn't realize that until I looked back in retrospect after Owen and made the realization that even though the hours FELT like years, they were truly just minute seconds.

 
I wanted to hold on to that feeling forever- you as a newborn, and as much fun as I know the future holds going forward as you grow up, I also just wanted you to stay small. It's the hard line of being a parent and letting go. But, as you've grown up even this month, I have loved watching you observe the world around you and taking it all in. I know as you continue to grow, I'll enjoy each phase more and more, to the point where I'll see a newborn and say "there's no WAY he was ever that small!"

 
This past month has been nothing short of amazing. You are such a calm, cool, and mellow baby and even if you weren't, we would still love you beyond words. You've managed to not only capture our hearts and complete our family even more, but you've made me a mom for the second time around, which also leaves me a little flabbergasted (as in I really have TWO KIDS?!) Before you arrived, I had the cliche thought that I wasn't sure if I could love you as much as I loved Owen. In fact, when I was in labor, I even echoed those sentiments. But the second you popped out, I found a whole other part of my heart that I didn't even know existed and you've managed to capture and fill that part of my heart with a vengenance in just a short amount of time.

 
I can't wait to get to know you even more, and to see more and more of the tiny person you are becoming. You are our "little" gentle elephant, and we love you more than we'll ever be able to adequately express.
 
Love,
Mama.
 

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