Changing of seasons.

I have really not wanted fall to come this year. At all. As in I seriously had the thought of what if we moved to Hawaii? I mean, it really wouldn't be THAT hard to uproot, right? I just couldn't quite get my head around letting go of the perfect 70-80 degree sunny, long days. I'm not sure what my problem is. Most years, by the time September 1st hits, I'm pulling out my scarves and uggs even if there are still 90 degree days in the forecast. Fall has FOREVER been my favorite season so I can't quite figure out what is wrong with me.

I keep trying to get in the spirit the following ways: 1) I decorated the house with fall leaves, pumpkins, scare crows. Usually this really gets me going and I'm eager to do it on about August 31. This year, I did it at the end of September and it was no big deal. It made me happy to see the pumpkins, but it was kind of annoying as then I had a million pumpkins all over my house thanks to turtle Owen. But, it perked me up a little bit. 2) Uggs- I did pull out my uggs, but when I did I realized I had to put away my flip flops. Sad face. 3) Fall clothes- I switched out my wardrobe shortly after Bennett was born, basically because I was sick of maternity clothes. But, the issue I have this year with fall clothes is that none fit. Fail. 4) Fall activities- I haven't quite gotten in to them yet this year... the pumpkin patch, baking, etc. Just not quite there yet. I've observed the leaves (beautiful as always) but that's about the extent of it.

One thought I had is that this year on my weird state is that the changing of the seasons is more than just the leaves falling and the weather turning. It's a symbolic shift of the time from when we were pregnant/had a newborn, to the "next phase." A phase that I'm not quite sure I'm ready for yet. Maybe? I don't know. I could just not want to be cold and face the long, dark days and it's as simple as that. We had the most brilliant stretch of warm, summer weather than I ever remember here, so it is quite possible that I just got spoiled and don't quite want to let go of it. But, that's kind of how this time thing works and eventually the seasons will turn, so here we are. Perhaps my resistance this year is also a resistance to the too fast passage of time. Or maybe it's just pregnancy hormones. It's hard to say. Again, I really don't know why I'm just kind of like "Fall. Blah." this year.

I will say, this did perk me up:

 

Our first fall fire. It was the first time I've really let myself truly say goodbye to summer and be ok with it. As I sit in front of the fire, in uggs, cuddling the baby, with a cup of homemade soup in hand, I think I'm ready to embrace it.  Or, I'm at least close.