The first year five?

In our first year of marriage (really only the last few months of it) Tim and I have both gained 5 pounds. Somehow I managed to bypass gaining the freshman 15 in college (even though Tim gained the freshman 40) but during this first year of marriage I gained five pounds. This really isn't that big of a deal but I did the math and if we continue on this 5 a year path, 50 years into our marriage I will weigh 370 pounds and Tim will weigh 405 pounds. Now, while that is somewhat of a hysterical image to me, I don't think I would like to try this. Plus, if we ever got that big we might die before we reach 50 years of marriage. So, since we regularly work out and eat healthy, the only conclusion I can come to is its all from the massive bowls of ice cream, peanut butter, and oreos that we eat on a consistent basis. The only other conclusion I could think of was that I could be pregnant (this stemming from the fact that in ONE day I saw approximately 30 pregnant women AND then, in the same day, heard a story from one of my co-workers that she got pregnant on the pill. Following these incidents, I then prayed to all of the gods in this world to spare me from the dreaded and that all of this was not meant to be some sort of a sign for me).

After taking a pregnancy test, I am relieved to know that I've just gotten fatter. And don't tell me that pregnancy tests are only 99% accurate. That is good enough for me! And plus, if I'm pregnant Tim must be too...he's gained 5 pounds right a long with me and my boobs aren't sore. I don't think his are either. So there. My first conclusion is the only conclusion that makes sense. Three years ago I was told to eat a shake or ice cream every day to gain weight. I stopped eating it every night after my weight stabalized. But, lately we've been eating it every night again (and proving that it does help to gain weight...again) so from now on, I am boycotting ice cream-at least the once a day massive bowl of ice cream. I don't think I could ever fully boycott it...it's too much of a diet staple and too good of an indulgence. And by the way, when I say massive bowls I do mean massive... go check out the dishes and silverware we have from Pottery Barn. THEN you will understand what I am talking about. They are supersized...like silverware and dishes intended for giants who are 10 feet tall and 500 pounds. I'm not kidding. Anyway, bottom line is: Tim and I will not be 405 and 370 pounds, respectively, in 50 years. And I'm not pregnant. Thank god.