Today's headline: "Heatwave scorches the nation."

Um? HI. ARE YOU MOCKING US MSN?

I would like to slap you. This is not amusing.

Currently in Seattle? We are in fall. FALL. As in barely making 60 degrees and rain type of fall. As in, I just bought a hot freaking coffee mid DAY yesterday because I was cold. As in, I still am wearing uggs. And sweaters. And beanies. In July. (And sadly, I'm not joking).

Ok, I'm being insensitive. To all of the people I know who are reading this from the hot parts of the country (read: everywhere but here), I am sorry. I know, it must suck. Especially in the midwest where it's humid and a million degrees or Phoenix and a 120 degree "dry" heat. I KNOW. But most of you have air conditioning and I know you are surviving. And, hell, it's SUMMER it's SUPPOSED to be hotter than hades. And, seeing as how I've lived in hot summer climates, I know there are people that are getting sick of the heat, that are literally seeking health care for heat related illnesses and it's just not fun. I GET IT.

That being said, that's as far as my sensitivity goes. So, I would like to request some of that... just for a day or two. Or maybe perhaps 7 in a row. I swear, I'm not trying to be greedy. And maybe not to the extreme as some parts of the country are feeling because as the pacific northwest is in a perpetual state of fall, we don't have air conditioning. Because we don't need it (seriously, it's 60 degrees in July). But, I am a warm blooded girl and I MISS those hot summer days. It's the definition of summer to me: Going outside and feeling like you might melt and spending weekends in the water. Getting ice cold lattes or teas or juices and eating pounds of watermelon. Wearing SHORTS and tank tops (a foreign concept here). Actually having some color versus this stark white we are (still) rocking up here. And then at the end of every heat filled summer day, knowing that right around the corner IS fall. Cooler days, cooler weather leading into the fall and subsequent holiday season. Right now, you could tell me that Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I might just believe you.

SO yes, I get it. It's hot everywhere but here. Additionally, accordingly to a news article I just read, Seattle has only had 78 (SEVENTY EIGHT) minutes, yes MINUTES, of weather over 80 degrees since last September. I. kid. you. not. This is ludicrous.

Good thing this morning I got all of the ads for the fall lines... outerwear, sweaters, boots. Typically it's way to hot to even consider these type of items but today as I'm in jeans and long sleeves and once again drinking hot tea to stay warm, I'm debating about purchasing some of these cold weather items.... seeing as how it's July 22 and I am firmly convinced Seattle is skipping summer. (But thanks again MSN for rubbing it in that, indeed, the rest of the country is in the dog days of summer...as if I wasn't already aware!)