Started off the day bright and early at 6:30 am with mom (Colleen), Lexi (girlfriend), and Oliver headed to Seattle for the 7.30am start. Justin took a few clients, and so we planned to come over mid-morning after he worked for a couple hours, and we got the kids off to school. Colleen and Lexi said that last night was one of the more rough nights for Oliver. He didn't want to eat much, didn't feel well, and in his words, was just jittery. They were able to give him some medicine to help knock him out and sleep, which seemed to work.
Waiting to get back to start the fun...or for Oliver to start nap time.
Still awake...!
Annnnd….night night. Doesn't take long for him to be out.
We had a consult with one of the head nurses yesterday, who was trying to determine how he was doing/feeling, etc. It was actually really helpful. We are working on trying to make sure how he's feeling is "normal" for what he's receiving in terms of chemo drugs. She had some really good points (like duh points) in to which she said there are tons of nausea meds out there so if what we are using isn't helping, call and they can get a different one. I guess that it is different for each patient in terms of what works best to achieve feeling "decent" through this, and so you just kind of have to play around with dosage, drug, timing, etc. Again,, kind of a duh moment for all of this, but hey, we are learning as we go. She also said that it is totally normal for patients not to be hungry through this. One of our concerns has been that he is barely eating, and we need to get some calories in to him. So we threw out ideas to her in terms of calorie dense protein shakes, nuts, small snacks etc. We meet with the nutritionist on day 4 so will probably get more ideas then (today!)
We were able to get Oliver to eat a protein bar midday and some oatmeal, which was a WIN! The past couple of days he hasn't eaten really anything during the day. It was funny when the nurse was in there, we were also discussing a port versus a PIC line and the pros and cons of each. Oliver was just barely cognizant and pretty drugged. So he kept saying ok, pic is what? Port is what? He started to wake up and Colleen said, "Ok Ols, so 1-10, how are you feeling?" O: "I think a 5." Colleen: "OH really, not super great then?" O: "I don't really know, what did I say earlier?" Haha!
Shortly after eating, and bags of hydration, it was pee time! He came back in to the room and Lexi saw something dripping and thought it was his IV. It was his hands from washing. Oliver quipped: "I am not doing a bang up job here." We all almost died laughing. We are grateful for his continued humor despite a not so humorous situation.
They left Seattle around 4:30pm and got back to our house around 5:30, and then continued back to Oliver/Lexi's after that, while Justin had an epic water gun war with the little boys. There is something very healing in the pure laughs of little kids. They do know what's going on, and they know Oliver is sick, but hearing their laughs just puts some clarity in to LIFE and just for a moment you think, ok, we are going to be ok here.
Colleen headed back east of the mountains to work until later this week when she will return, and we spent the evening trying to get some things arranged on our end. Tomorrow marks day 5, and Oliver has decided to come stay with us for a while so that we can take care of him. When Colleen is here, she will stay with us as well.
(Sidenote: while I am not thankful that Oliver has cancer, can I just say here that I am SO thankful for being able to spend time with Colleen? I mean, we knew each other and had talked in passing in the past, and she came to our house for Christmas a couple of years ago, but you really don't have much of a reason to develop a relationship with your husband's ex-wife/step kids' mom when the kids are grown and you live a ways apart. I have ALWAYS told the older boys that I 100% respected Colleen for raising two young men, and much of it by herself, but these past few days/weeks has been so nice to get to know her better....she is a rockstar and I have just been so grateful for her spirit these past few days! Some people might think it's a bit odd, but I am so glad for all of the support and that we are just one big crazy happy family who are in this together).
Anyway, so Oliver has decided to stay with us, but problem: he's SUPER SUPER allergic to cats. So we had to figure out where they are going to go and luckily we have some seriously amazing friends who have offered to foster them for the next couple of months. They live right down the road from us AND the kids love to go there anyway (think trampoline, horses, xbox), so we will be visiting frequently to see the cats and play. I can't even say how blessed we are for our team of support that are helping us out. SO, I spent the evening cleaning out the extra room (Oliver's old bedroom here that is now an empty bunk bed/toy room because the boys want to sleep together in the room by us). Cats will be going to our friends this morning, and the cleaners will come by at noon to clean the house. We are happy that he will be with us. It is one of those things- he's an adult, but you just want to wrap him up like a little baby and not let him go. Having him under our roof will allow us to do just that.
Last night when checking on the little boys before bed, I walked in and noticed Owen sleeping like this, with one leg up in the air. We have noticed the past few days that Oliver tends to sleep like this in the hospital. Is this a genetic trait??
On to day 5 today, and I think that we will all be happy for a bit of a break before returning back on Friday.
I had to stop by the store on my way to pick up the kids yesterday (cupcake crisis for school), and another random lesson in this that hit me, was as I was in this "normal" place, after leaving the hospital, I kept looking around like ok, who here has cancer? It was SO ODD to be in the store after being at the hospital all day, and not seeing anyone with the roller type things/hats that you see all day. It was so bizarre. I had to stop myself to re-center and be like, ok, whoa. Two realities right now and the worlds are not colliding... it honestly really messes with your head.
Again, the positive in this is the perspective. You start to develop an empathy for people that you see when you are out and about, and don't know their stories or their journeys. I think a lot of people have this innately, but I also think it's easy to get lost in the day to day of life. This experience has brought that right back to ground zero, and for better or worse, has ground us back in to understanding this world of empathy and compassion and looking at the world around us in a new light.
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