But, that day, although my internal clock was a day off, symbolizes another subtle shift in our universe. The shift in to summer. The embracing of light. The growth of new life. The season where we embrace the sun, the life, the growth. The days are long and it's a time where we face outward and embrace all the light. But, the solstice also represents a subtle shift towards a different season-- the downward trajectory to shorter days and the darkness that fall and winter bring. A time where we tend to go more inward and embrace all things dark and cozy and the merits of that season as the contrast to this season. I've been thinking about life changes a lot- how some are subtle and how some are abrupt. The solstice is subtle and guides us gently in to different seasons. Some life changes are big and abrupt and smack you right in the face. Like, losing a job. Moving across the country. Divorce, although this can be a long time in coming. Cancer.
Within each of these more abrupt changes there seem to be seasons that are more subtle, like the solstice. With Oliver's diagnosis, we experienced a fleeting and completely RUDE punch to the gut: You have cancer. And then, after months of being dormant- in remission- if you will, it has returned, aggressively. A punch to the throat. Those were abrupt. Throughout the treatment these last 16 days, each day seems to almost be a different "season"- with everything ebbing and flowing, subtly, and us not really know where the universe is taking us. It has been a giant lesson in learning to just roll with it. Things can change on a dime, and the world is continuously shifting. What we knew as reality before, is no longer. And what we can expect from reality in the future- we have no idea.
This is a lot of rambling to say: this experience is like no other. For those of us type A people, it teaches us to be more like the Justin's of the world who are so keen to just roll with the punches. We people who are NOT Justin, like to predict change, to PLAN for change, to be in control of our world. HELLO, CANCER. Nice to meet you, and also WE HAVE ZERO CONTROL. To add to the mile long list of lessons which I have always known I have needed to learn but my type A personality revolted against: learn to just chill out. Roll with the subtle changes, the change in seasons. Embrace them, and don't fight them. Easier said than done, until you have no option to do just that.
Yesterday we experienced some other shifts in our worlds. It will go down as BEHOLD!: The Day We Were Released from Prison OR! The Day We Got Oliver Stoned. BOTH TRANSFORMING!
Colleen was a true warrior mama and spent another night at the hospital with Oliver. In fairness, we did offer (for real) to tag team and take over, but she wanted to be with OG. Which, in my opinion, is totally understandable. So, the boys and I started off the day at home. Bennett for some reason woke up bound and determined to build a race track. Dad accommodated, I think because he hasn't been here.
Back at the hospital, Oliver was awake and in good spirits. Colleen said that it was a good night. A little bit of restless sleep, but he had also just had chemo a few hours prior and so there were some side effects from that. However, the fever was under control which was GREAT news.
And, he was still feeling decent enough to eat so that was even better news. After the first few days of this madness when we couldn't get ANYTHING in to him, this is still feeling like huge wins. (Also: I have never really thought that Oliver looks much like Justin until some of these pictures lately and I am REALLY seeing the resemblance).
Little nap mid morning.
Around 9am, Justin and Bennett headed over to Seattle. I stayed back with Owen to wait for his friends to pick him up to go for a hike! The plan was that I would head to Seattle to pick up Bennett if Oliver was not going to be released. Apparently, Bennett LOVED the hospital room!
It took FOREVER for the team of a million doctors to come in to the room yesterday to develop the game plan for Oliver. The doctor originally said that he wanted to hold Oliver for another day; however, his awesome nurse talked him out of that. He had only had a fever spike 24 hours prior to 100.4, and nothing since. And since his fever was low, and we could get back to the hospital quickly, they said that they would be discharging him with oral antibiotics! YES! ESCAPE! After that good news, Justin and Bennett went to explore Seattle since the hospital moves at about the pace of a turtle, so discharge doesn't mean SOON, it means... maybe in a couple of hours when they get papers together. Bennett and dad had a fun time walking all over and exploring.
And of course, eating lunch!
Back in the mountains, Owen and friends were having a total blast! They left for hiking around 10am, not to return until 3pm. I guess they hiked EVERYWHERE and forged their own trails too. So cute.
I'm thinking these guys' lunch spot looks better than Bennett's in a hospital room!
I also got a clip of a video of a song/dance party these two best buddies were having. The song was "I'm a cheerleader." Not kidding. EPIC!
On the drive home after release from confinement, Bennett learned the quiet game. Apparently he was winning!
And then watch the fall...
Back at home, the boys immediately got to work on their remote control cars!
Oliver relaxed and everyone got re-settled in to a much more comfortable environment.
And nap time! At one point we were playing outside and Bennett comes running out: OLIVER IS ASLEEP ON THE COUCH! Ha! Thanks, Buddy!
So, the next theme of the day was nothing short of extraordinary. Remember, the Day We Got Oliver Stoned? I wasn't joking. At around 5pm, he was feeling a little nauseous (from chemo), and we had learned from the first week that the drugs that combat that have NASTY side effects on him. Hello ER visits? Zofran seems to help and is much more mild, but we'd also done more research on the CBD/THC mix and how it is very impactful for chemo/cancer patients. While home last, Colleen got some gummy edibles that have a 1:1 mix and have been used successfully in cancer patients. So, we gave Oliver 1/2 of one.
About 20 minutes later, Oliver says: "I think I'm high. From the drugggsssss." And we died. This was almost as profound as Justin's revelation in the hospital the day before: "It's amazing what ice does. It makes everything really cold." Uh huh. And no, Justin had not eaten a gummy. He's just that amazing in his proclamations!
Oliver kept saying he felt really weird, and wasn't sure about it. BUT! He wasn't dizzy. And he wasn't nauseous. AND he ATE LIKE A HORSE! He ate all of his dinner: soup, veggies, avocado, bacon, then ate TWO donuts, a bagel, yogurt and granola, another bagel. Quite literally he ate more calories in 3 hours than he has eaten in two weeks. It was AMAZING. We were all just completely dying and he kept saying don't laugh at me, and we weren't laughing AT him, it was just the emotion and pure jubilance at him EATING FOOD. Something we had tried in vain to do for the past two weeks, without any success and with completely nothing short of begging and pleading. So, to say we were doing figurative cartwheels would be an understatement.
I almost hit the floor when I saw this picture- captain America plate, bagel, and youtube. YES!
We have gotten a lot of requests for #oliverstrong bracelets, and have gotten several pictures of people wearing them. KEEP THEM COMING!
We have no shortage of bracelets, and we can always get more- just be patient on the mailing (if we are mailing), as that duty falls on me and I need to get organized and mail them out. But, in that vein, we will mail them and pass them out to whoever wants them. I told Justin yesterday, how cool would it be to be walking down the street and see someone random wearing a sky blue #oliverstrong bracelet, for some brave kid who they may or may not know, but who inspired them because he wasn't afraid to take cancer by the shoulders, fight like hell, and shake himself free of it. #oliverstrong.
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