So yesterday... ugh. So frustrating! I woke up exhausted because that is what happens after a full week of getting up at 4am. I get to the office and then I have to go home around 8am to take Bella to the neighbors' house. My neighbor and I were talking one day (she has a 5 year old boxer) and I told her that I take Bella to day care. She was all, WHAT!? My kids (8 year old twins) would LOVE to watch Bella. So, ever since, they have been. It's AWESOME. Convenient, close, and MUCH more cost effective. I pay the kids $15 a day which is great for them (and me). Plus Bella loves her buddy Sadie. It just really sucks when she decides to pee in their house for whatever reason...
So anyway.
I run home, take her out to poop/pee since she's been sleeping at home for a few hours. Well, guess what princess Bella's new thing is? She will only pee and poop on select grass worthy of her princess ass. I am NOT KIDDING. Let's stop a second here, deep breath and remind ourselves that we are talking about a DOG who poops and pees outside- not on a marble toilet.
Oh RIIIIGHT. This is PRINCESS BELLA. How could I possibly forget that my dog rules the world? Duh.
So yes, she will now only go on select grass that she deems appropriate. We are not sure if it's because the grass she's avoiding is where she was really sick or what but it is WEIRD. So, I'm taking her out, she's not going, I'm being stubborn and refusing to let her go to her "preferred" grass (mostly because her princess tendencies piss me off and I want to "out-stubborn" her) but this time she won. My time was short, I had to get to the client. So she's all hunchbacked/tail down/head down in mass efforts of operation KEEP.THE.POOP.IN. and after 30 (30!!) minutes for her walking circles like this, I give in. BUT! I don't let her win either. It's a draw. I take her to the neighbor's and NOT to the grass she wanted. Ha! I showed her.
Of course by that point, I'm just royally frustrated with her and have to tell the neighbor that she's been holding in a giant shit for a half hour so to let her out immediately. Five minutes later I get a text from my neighbor? Oh yeah, she went RIGHT AWAY. Couldn't hold it a second longer (apparently their grass is awesome). SERIOUSLY. ANNOYING.
After that fun, I drove my way down to a new client that I'd been at all week. It's a pretty awesome client and I was having a good time, things were going well. Until... We all go out to lunch (the audit people and the tax people who showed up to collect tax stuff) and I have been talking with the client all morning so I have to pee. [Seriously, as a sidenote, I really didn't expect to talk about bodily functions this entire post. I must really be needing to get a life...] Oh, and just to add: the client could not keep eye contact the WHOLE MORNING. I am not particularly "well endowed" if you know what I mean so it was quite the different experience to want to shout at him all morning "MY EYES ARE UP HERE." ANYWAY. So I'm flushing and I'm not sure what other people use to flush with but I use my foot. So my foot slips and THERE GOES MY SHOE INTO THE TOILET. Next thing you know?
Shoe is in toilet and I'm falling all over the stall. NOT KIDDING.
The lady next to me is stifling laughter as I'm trying to collect myself after yelling FUCK and then SHIT, MY SHOE (awesome considering the context at that moment...) and then BOOM.BOOM.BOOM. CRAAASH. I mean, I wasn't even DRINKING. So, I pull my shoe out of the toilet after picking myself up and dusting off a bit of what we like to call TOTAL humiliation. What am I supposed to do? I feel absolutely horrendous like I've just bathed in shit since I fell all over the damn stall and now I have a pee shoe. I mean, what would everyone else done in this situation? Walked back out to the lunch meeting with a shoe wrapped in a paper towel? Or stayed in there forever trying to get it dry? Or washed it in the sink? Well, I gave it a quick rinse in the sink (after hobbling on my dry shoe to the sink- not really sure why since it didn't matter much at that point) and then just put it back on. I will mention that I smelled it and it didn't smell like pee. (I KNOW, SERIOUSLY GROSS).
The third thing that happened to me was on my way back from said client. Mini's are known for getting clobbered by rocks. Winston (my old mini) was no exception and I replaced that windshield about 3-4 times. Well, Alfred (the new mini) has now joined the club.
He waited until about 3900 miles (picture taken this morning).
Big rock mark. So sad. I guess that means this little coop is getting older now that he is part of the rock hitting windshield club. After all of this madness, I promptly hit the gym for a great workout to sweat out the remnants of my day and then headed straight to happy hour. After a couple of glasses of white wine and laughs with friends, all was right in the world again. But I think I am going to throw away that pee shoe.
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