A realization of how much I don't know. Humbling, if nothing else.

One of the funnier things I've done lately is try to buy a baby shower present for one of my co-workers who is having a shower on Sunday. I know nothing about babies or kids.... well, really anyone under the age of about umm...15. Before I went to embark on this adventure, I chatted with her a little bit about what she really needed. In other words, I just wanted to shake her and demand that she tell me EXACTLY the one thing she wants most, in minute detail. BECAUSE I KNOW NOTHING. Instead, the response that I got was, "I threw everything away after we had [her first child]. I need everything." I went in to talk to her because I knew she wanted only practical stuff. There was no mention of clothes. I can do clothes. I'm always the girl who shows up to these things with ridiculously expensive baby clothes that will only get spit up on within two hours of the first wear and that they will grow out of in three months. So my problems arose when I realized that she wanted practical stuff. I understand but I don't DO practical.

So, out I ventured trying to interpret things such as boopy or goopy or whatever pillows that supposedly are used to nurse babies. And travel mechanisms...apparently it's a car seat that fits right into a stroller...isn't that a novel idea?! And receiving blankets...what the hell are receiving blankets? And onesies? Again, what the hell are onesies? And bouncers? (Until I saw what this actually was the 'bouncer' thing kind of cracked me up. A bouncer for a baby? Again, what the hell?)

As I'm trying to discern just what all of this confusing stuff is, I'm then complexed by a new problem: the brand. I genuninely believe that different brands are way better than others. Like Jif peanut butter or Heinz ketchup? Can't go generic. Or like Banana Republic, JCrew, or Nordstrom as compared to Wal Mart? Come on! No comparision. There is a complete difference in quality and I am all about quality. I'd much rather spend more to have it last longer and be nicer. And herein was another problem in the baby department. What baby brand is good? I've heard of Carter's, right? But I've just HEARD of them somewhere along the line. I've also heard of Wal-Mart...what if Carter's is the generic brand of something else? I have no absolutely no clue. And there were so MANY brands: fisher price, just one year, something starting with an 'e', pooh stuff...way too many overwhelming options.

So I spent approximately an HOUR pacing about five aisles, contemplating what was quickly becoming way too difficult of a decision. I finally decided on something. At that point, I still had no clue but I was tired of trying to decide. So I just went with it. I have no idea what it's called and I don't know the brand. It's one of those carrier things that the mom or dad straps on to their chest or back to carry the kid. I've just seen people wearing them (like one lady was wearing one carrying a TEENY baby while hiking up Camelback mountain. She is totally my hero). And I never decided on the brand thing. I just got the most expensive one, figuring that had to mean something. I'm debating whether or not to get an outfit for the baby... in case the practical thing turns out to be not so practical, at least I KNOW I can pick out a cute outfit to offset the other thing that I don't even understand.

After this whole experience, I'm a little bit scared at my ignorance considering that I could someday be a mom. Who knew there was this much stuff for babies? I was completely and utterly overwhelmed. There are even special BATHTUBS for babies. I just never knew. I have only seriously ever held three babies in my whole life. One was my cousin Kristyn. She was born when I was six so I have no memory really of the experience. The other was my second cousin Josh who was born when I was 12. Again, ancient history. The other was my cousin-in-law Camdyn about two years ago (and her parents probably didn't know that she was the first baby I've ever held in my adult life. Otherwise they might not have handed her off). I am not a pro at this...at all. There is a possibility that I could harm any human being I bring into this world simply by unconscious incompetence. Therefore, I don't have kids, and it's these humbling, overwhelming learning experiences that lengthens the time in which I will consider having them. It just got lengthened again. I'm thinking maybe 10 years? Sounds good to me. By 33 I should be somewhat more knowledgeable, right?