Out of control: me and them but in completely different ways

The cats are insane, which is making me insane. I'm pretty convinced that for both Emerson and Berkeley their life goal is to become a pro-wrestler. And they practice on each other...at least the chasing and pinning part. They practice their jabs on anything in their path: christmas ornaments, table legs, sweatpant strings, pillows...anything. And they even have the grunting and groaning part down. When they start to get pinned, they will start squealing as they try harder and harder to win the match.

At first this was cute. Now, not so much. I'm glad they have each other to play with, seriously. That's why we got two. But seriously, dudes. Do you have to decide to wrestle at 2 a.m.?? There have been countless times where I have been rudely awakened and scared out of my freakin pants by a crash of something or another. Or just by thuds and bangs. They wrestle with obstacles. The table, just a part of the game. The sofa? Let's lunge over it to land on a vase then proceed to chase the other cat down the stairs and then back up where we'll finally end underneath the aforementioned table...because, hey, it's more fun to wrestle with table legs and chair legs jutting into you and your opponent. It makes more clumps of hair come out and then you get to see your mom get really mad when she finds gigantic clumps of hair all over. Plus, it's just fun to make as much noise as possible because then the two unfortunate people SLEEPING in the next room will wake up and see the excellent fight going on IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

A few weeks ago they broke one of my favorite vases. We woke up to this crash and seriously thought someone was breaking into our house by first breaking a window. Last week when Tim was gone, they started up again and somehow managed to drag a target bag into it. Since I was in a sleep induced coma-like state, I thought someone was in my house (it seriously is that loud) and stealing stuff by putting it into a bag. Stupid, yeah, but I was sleep-walking! The other night they did it again. And I'm not kidding when I say that it seriously sounds like a 120 pound person throwing themself repeatedly on the ground. We went out there about 4 times to try to break them up.

So perhaps my cats are fated to be pro-wrestlers...the kind that only wrestle when the rest of the world is sleeping. It is completely out of control and I'm out of control because I can do nothing to stop it. I try to keep them awake when we're awake, but NO that is their sleeping time. Maybe that's the problem... hmm... maybe because I try to keep them awake when they want to sleep, this is what they are doing to me. Seeking revenge...those punks. It totally just clicked.