As promised, here is the full and unabridged story of little Owen's birth. If you don't like gory details, I'd pass on reading.
My contractions started around 2am on the morning of August 18th. It had been exceptionally hot here in Seattle on the 17th and 18th and my sweet husband had installed an air conditioner in our room on the 17th since I was grossly pregnant and VERY uncomfortable. Additionally, I'd had a bit of "leakage" earlier in the week which we had initially thought was my water breaking (turns out, it wasn't...another weird pregnancy thing- yippee!) and the fear was that the baby would come when it was 100 degrees outside and then he would be very uncomfortable and hot. I include this because when my contractions started, I was entirely mad because I was SO comfortable in the air conditioning and was looking forward to a solid night of sleep and sleeping in with my husband in the cool temperature on Saturday morning. I was sort of half asleep thinking, "huh... these are different than braxton hicks and they are definitely consistent." My night of solid sleep in perfect temperature was interrupted! But, I kept sleeping or trying to sleep through them and at around 6:30am, they were consistent enough that I fully woke up and decided to time them. I was shocked to find out that they were about 7 minutes apart lasting for a minute each.
Justin woke up a little while later and I told him I'd been having regular contractions for the past 5 hours but was just going to go about my day. At this point I wasn't sure if I was in false labor or if this was the real deal. Plus, I had plans and things I wanted to do that day and I was convinced that we were not going to have a baby by our anniversary (the 19th). (Ha. Ha. Ha... insert evil little boy cackle here- foreshadowing!) The contractions were consistent enough that I was not entirely sure this WASN'T real so I got out of bed and decided I needed to take one last pregnancy photo just in case:
Here we are.. last day of pregnancy, in labor though I didn't totally know it at the time. And WOAH. I WAS HUGE. I mean, I know I was uncomfortable but looking at this now just makes me cringe (I DO NOT MISS BEING PREGNANT! Sorry to all you ladies who enjoy it, I did not...I enjoyed PARTS of it but as a whole? Nope. Did not like).
Moving on...
After taking the above picture, I then hopped in to the shower and thought, hmm, if I am actually in labor, I need to shave. For some reason, this seemed really important at the time. Not sure if being completely irrational is part of labor but there I was in the shower, shaving my hoo-ha (which I couldn't see) and my legs (which I could barely reach) in between contractions (while Justin laughed at his crazy wife...he was convinced I was in labor even though I kept telling him "I think it's just false labor"). I had plans to meet some girlfriends for coffee at 9:30am so after I got out of the shower I decided that I would just go ahead and dry my hair and put make up on (usually I'd just go in sweatpants, possibly without a shower and with absolutely no regard to the hair or makeup)... BUT, I thought, if I am in labor, might as well look cute-ish (or as cute as you can at that point at almost 10 months pregnant). In retrospect, all of this is absolutely hilarious to me. I mean, really, hair, makeup, shaved legs AND shaved hoo hoo? LIKE IT MATTERS.
At this point my contractions were still about 7 minutes apart lasting for a minute long. No change but definitely not going away. It wasn't painful, just mildly uncomfortable. I gave Justin a to-do list of things that absolutely needed to get done if the baby were born soon and then I headed out to meet my girlfriends for coffee at my friends' house in Woodinville (she had a 2 week old baby so we had all agreed to meet up on her turf). Justin got the things done on his to-do list and then went to get a hair cut and run a couple more errands. I remember thinking on the drive out to Woodinville that if this was actually real labor and it progressed quickly, the drive back to Kirkland could be interesting (it's about a 20 minute drive).
I got to my girlfriends house and at this point, I had been having regular contractions for 7+ hours and had bloody show in the toilet every time I peed so I had admitted to myself that I was definitely in labor. I told my friends when I got there that I thought I was in labor but it was just early labor so might as well just enjoy the day! We played with my friend Jen's new 2 week old daughter Olivia and my other friend Amy's son Charles (I think he is around 3.5 months old) and just chatted for a few hours. At around noon, I was feeling like the contractions were getting a bit stronger and found myself hunching over my friends' counter every 6 or so minutes. I decided that I better get back to my neck of the woods just in case I started to progress more rapidly to the point where driving would be a challenge.
Since I had admitted that I was in labor, I decided I had better stop on my way home to get Justin an anniversary present and card. I had planned to do something a little bit more elaborate for him with our maternity pictures but at that point, I knew that was not going to happen (speaking of, those pictures are still sitting at the store ready to be picked up...). I had already gotten him a couple of little things but I went to the store and figured I had a good 6 minutes to run in and grab something for him. The only thing I was really hoping was that my water did not break down aisle 5.
I did what any good wife would do- bought him a bottle of basil hayden bourbon. I knew he'd love it and hey, with a new baby, he might really like having that bourbon around. I also bought a random kiwi as it sounded good and the cashier was like, "Huh...what's the occasion?" Kind of random for a pregnant girl to buy a card, bourbon, and a kiwi. I said, "well, our anniversary is tomorrow and I'm pretty sure I'm in labor and a kiwi sounds good." At which point the poor kid paled and had a look of "OH hell, get her out of here!" I almost made a joke about my water breaking but didn't want to scar him for life so I passed on that one and just headed home.
Justin was just headed home at around the same time. It was about 1pm at that point and my contractions were about 5 and a half to 6 minutes apart. I got home and decided to make a snack for lunch. I think I ate a banana and some leftover beef and made a protein shake (which I didn't end up eating then). Random. At that point, I KNEW I was having a baby so I decided I needed to get some things wrapped up at work since I would clearly not be at work the following week. So I drafted a few emails and wrapped up a few items. Then, I finished wrapping Justin's present and at around 3pm we had a little anniversary celebration on the stairs where we exchanged presents and reflected on the past year. Last year on the 18th we did hot yoga together then were running around like crazy people to prep for the next couple of days before meeting our families for a BBQ that night at Justin's grandparents house. Little bit different story this year.
Since I was still just in early labor and not really in active labor yet, I decided to make lactation cookies that a girlfriend of mine had sworn by after she first had her baby back in June. They are basically like oatmeal cookies with ingredients that help with lactation (IE: brewer's yeast, flax and oatmeal). We started to make those and about every 4-5 minutes I'd take a seat on the exercise ball as the contractions were getting notably stronger. We finished the cookies though and Justin decided around 5pm that he should probably make something for dinner (smart thinking). He made some roasted veggies and a veggie burger which smelled good but I did not touch as I did not want to puke them up later. At this point, I was getting closer to active labor and had texted our doula that she should probably head to our house at around 6pm as I was getting increasingly uncomfortable. Photo of the cookies:
At around 6pm, Penelope, our doula arrived right on time. I had gone up to shower thinking that this would help me feel better. It sort of did but not as much as I had expected it to (or wanted). I had several big contractions in the shower and as I was trying to get dressed which caused me just to keel over the bed and lean against the wall in the shower. I remember at this point when I was alone in the shower and in our room I thought, "holy crap, this is really happening." When I got back downstairs, I said hi to Penelope as Justin was slicing and dicing aloe stalks which Penelope had brought. This is supposed to help with softening of the perineum prior to pushing out the baby as well as healing the perineum post-pushing. We all chatted for a little bit then Penelope headed out to a local natural food store to pick up some homeopathic pills that are supposed to encourage labor as it progresses.
I was definitely in active labor at this point but thought that I might want to go for a walk just to move things along. Plus, Penelope kept telling me to make noise with each contraction and at this point that really annoyed me as the way as I working through the contractions then was to stay quiet. She is the sweetest person and I really like her as our doula but the LAST thing you want to do is to tell a pregnant/in-labor lady how to work through contractions. I just remember this really annoying me at the time. I moved my way to the front door to go for a wal with Justin but got sidetracked my the contractions and for a few contractions, Justin and I laid side my side on the guest bedroom bed. Penelope came back from the store and we finally headed out for a little walk around the block. This was interesting as about every 3-4 minutes I had to stop and have Justin wrap me in a bear hug to make it through the contractions. Our neighbors may have been a little concerned. Once we got back, I had a few more contractions just sitting on the stairs:
I'm not sure why, but this position really worked for me to labor in. Just sitting on the stair step and for most of these more intense contractions at home, Justin was right in front of me on the birthing ball and he would rock with me through the contractions. I honestly do not know what I would have done without him there. He was seriously AMAZING.
After a while, Penelope mentioned that I should put some aloe up my hoo ha to help with softening my perineum for when I'd be pushing later. I went to the bathroom to shove it up there which REALLY sucked because a) if I moved, the contractions intensified so I really hated to have to get up to even pee and b) sticking something slippery up your hoo hoo as you are having contractions is pretty much shitty. Plus, there was blood and guts down there so it just didn't work. I walked out of the bathroom after a contraction and remember saying, "It's not WORKING, it's too slippery." So Penelope mentioned that I should lay on the couch and shove it up and it would stay that way. So that is what I did. I stayed there for a while and Penelope rubbed my back and Justin was behind the couch and I'd grab on to him during contractions. I did not really like laying on the couch, however, and soon wanted to move back to the stairs.
At this point my time becomes totally distorted. I couldn't tell you how many minutes had passed or how much time had elapsed. It's really funny how that happens. It was probably a couple of hours but it felt like 5 minutes. So bizarre. I remember at this point Justin and Penelope kept trying to get me to drink my shake I'd made earlier but I kept getting side tracked by contractions. I think Justin re-blended it about 25 times. At around 9pm, the contractions were really intensifying and I started to think, "we need to call the midwives." (Sidenote to all you future moms out there contemplating natural birth- contractions do not get WORSE, they just intensify by getting closer together. If you can handle the early ones, you can do the whole thing). Anyway, we started to time my contractions although it was pretty blatantly obvious that they were coming in rapid succession. I told Justin he should probably call my mom and then call the midwives. I was in the midst of back to back contractions so Penelope talked to the midwives and I just remember I kept saying "WE HAVE TO GO NOW." I knew that if we waited much longer it was going to get really ugly and I did NOT want to be in the car for that. Since my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart, our midwife said, "Yes, you are having a baby...(duh) give us 40 minutes to get there and get set up and we'll see you there at 10pm." I remember thinking, "Ok, I can make it that long." Justin got the car loaded and at around 10pm, we headed out the door which was an adventure because it seemed like every 2 steps I'd have a contraction. Below is a picture right before we headed to the birth center. Yep, I was still on those steps.
The birth center is only about 10 minutes away from our house but it was not very fun to be in the car for those 10 minutes. I remember telling Justin in the car "Tell Penelope I do NOT NEED TO MAKE NOISE during contractions" and I also texted my girlfriends to tell them that this was it, to light their candles and that by the way, this fucking sucks. I don't have a clear memory of sending that text but I saw it the next day and laughed. I had about 3 contractions while in the car... I couldn't tell you if Justin was a speed racer to get to the birth center or not but it sure seemed like we got there fast. As soon as I got out of the car, of course I had another contraction in the parking lot.
We eventually made our way inside at about 10:20pm and saw our midwife Tonya. I remember her asking how I was doing and I was like, "Ah, you know...decent." Ha! She put us in our birthing suite (which I remember thinking was really lovely as it was dimly lit with candles and a very tranquil place) and she gave us the rundown of how things work with them during labor... basically said that they were going to wait until I was through a contraction to make sure Owen was doing ok through the contractions so they would have to have me in one position for 5 minutes to monitor his heartbeat. They also said that they wouldn't check me and my progress unless I really wanted them to but they are very non-invasive so it was my call. I said to just wait at that point and then they checked Owen's heartbeat which was NOT fun as I had to stay in one spot through the contraction (related: why being monitored consistently in a hospital birth would be pure torture). Luckily, Owen was handling labor like a true champ.
I continued to labor at the birthing center and was surprised by how intense it was getting. I immediately wanted to go in the tub as I thought that would really help me through these more intense contractions. So, they started the bath and I got in a few minutes later. I lasted about 10 minutes, or 3 contractions in the tub. I HATED it. I was really surprised by this but it absolutely sucked for me. I got out and wanted to go sit on the edge of the bed to labor with Justin in front of me which was a similar position to how I labored on the stairs at home. At this point, I said "I need to be checked." It was getting to the point where I needed to know how far along I was. If I was only at 3cm dilated, I probably would have flipped shit for how much pain I was in right then. It would have been very distressing. Of course, everyone thought that I was probably only at 3-4 cm dilated based on how I was laboring. Justin tried to talk me out of being checked as he thought I'd be discouraged and even Tonya gave me a pep talk beforehand that sometimes people like me who were presenting as I was needed to have the dilation catch up to the contractions and that can happen in a very short period of time, blah blah blah. I was over it. I just wanted to know. She checked me and I was at SEVEN (7!!) cm. It's possible I have never been so overwhelmingly happy and relieved in my life. I could have still done it if I was not as far dilated but I knew at this point that I was almost there.
I labored for a few more contractions before I had to pee and made it to the toilet where I swear I spent the next 30 minutes. I could not get off the thing and it was the only place that I felt comfortable laboring (weird, I know). I kept feeling like I had to push and I kept telling Justin that who kept saying "Don't push." I pushed anyway because there was so much pressure I was convinced I was going to poop. But no poop came and I still felt the need to push. By this point every contraction was VERY vocal. I don't think I really have a concept of how loud I was but I do know that my throat was sore post labor. We eventually made it back to the bed and Tonya was summoned because I was insistent that I needed to push even though everyone was telling me there was no way I was ready yet. She moved me to a birthing stool on the floor (which is sort of like I was in a squatting position) and checked me. Guess what? I was 10cm and ready to go. Right again.
My water still hadn't broken but everyone could see the bag right there and said that Owen's head was right behind it. Tonya monitored me again to make sure Owen was still doing ok through the contractions and again, he was handling them like a true champ. About 3 seconds later, I had a contraction and asked if I could push through it to which they said "yes" and my water exploded all over the midwife who was sitting right in front of me and shot across the room. It was CRAZY. I remember thinking "wow, that was kind of cool" because it shot out of me and all over the room with such force. After that, I knew the baby was going to be here soon.
Pushing SUCKED. It was by far for me the worst part. I couldn't believe how much it hurt. Everyone describes it as a ring of fire and I'm not sure that is an entirely an accurately description. I didn't really feel the burning as much as I felt like I was pushing out a 200 pound coconut. I don't even know that there are words to describe it. Justin said that while I was pushing, I kept asking how much longer/how many more I had (true type A right there wanting a number). I also dropped the f-bomb about every other word. I guess I kept saying "Do you guys know how fucking bad this hurts?" I don't really remember it entirely other than I couldn't believe that pushing was the hardest part. I truly thought that pushing would be the easiest part. I remember I kept looking at Tonya's watch (she was still sitting in front of me) and kept thinking "Ok, it's been 5, 10, 15 minutes (etc)... almost there." She said that I'd reach a point where his head would be right there but I needed to just hold him there to fully stretch the perineum to prevent tearing. This is basically impossible. He was there and I could feel him right there and you want me to just not push? Really? They kept asking if I wanted to see him crowning and I was like "Hell no!" I was adamant that I did not want to see what was happening down there.
During this part, Justin had his hand around my back and during each contraction, I was sort of leaning back against him/the bed and I'd bear down. He said at one point during pushing he felt like he was going to throw up because I was in so much pain. After I'd been pushing for a while, I was just ready to be done. I had a contraction and was just all "I'm over it" and out Owen came, born 10 minutes into the day of our 1st anniversary, 8/19/2012 at 12:10am. Apparently he started screaming before he was fully out of the birth cancal which the midwives said they have only ever RARELY seen. I guess he was ready to join us! I only pushed for 25 minutes and looking back, it definitely hurt and it was definitely the worst part but I was very lucky as most first time moms can push for up to 2-4 hours. That would really suck!
My placenta was delivered about 10 minutes later and then I moved up to the bed to admire our beautiful son and to start nursing him.The midwives monitor your bleeding for a while... I had a couple of blood clots while there which sucked because they would then push on my already contracting uterus (nursing makes it contract further). I was surprised by how uncomfortable this was. After a couple of hours of bonding time and making sure my bleeding was under control (I was lucky that I was a very minimal bleeder), the midwives check the baby and take all his vitals. He was perfect... 21.5 inches long, 8 pounds 5 oz, with apgars of 9/10.
They also helped me to pee for the first time post baby which, by the way: TERRIBLE. OH MY. It BURNED. For me this was the "ring of fire." They had found that I had torn, probably because I did not push long at all, but it was not a big enough tear to require any sort of stitches. I also had two abrasions from pushing which are basically as if I had skinned my knees but on my hoo hoo. Honestly, these were much more painful than the tear and I believe what hurt so bad when I peed. I used a little spray water bottle to spray and encourage my little vag to push out something else but wow, it was so painful (and honestly, did not stop hurting when I peed for several days).
After I ate a bowl of oatmeal, the midwives were satisfied with Owen's nursing and my bleeding, we were set to go home and sleep in our own bed. Pictures of that night:
The little guy after nursing for the first time, all bundled up.
Cudding with the babe right after he was born. When he came out screaming, I guess I said, "that's how I feel too!" Haha.
Justin post labor... I think his words right before this picture were "I need to take a 10 minute nap." I think labor was harder on him than on me.
About ready to head home with our little guy.
And a family shot.
All buckled in and ready to head home.
Sleeping in his cozy little bed on the first night.
I have said over the course of the last few weeks that labor and birth was "easy." And it was, truly. I was very lucky in that my birth exceeded even my wildest expectations, expectations that I tried not to have as I learned early on in pregnancy that having expectations is generally not a good thing as it's all so unpredictable. But, the labor and birth were just unbelievable. It was perfect. I feel like it was so raw, so real, it was a state that I'm not sure many people get to experience very often. It brought Justin and I closer together than we have ever been and no one can ever take away what we shared that day and the strengthening of our bond throughout the whole process. I thought what we had before was special and powerful but I didn't realize just how much so until I lived through this with him. I don't know that I would voluntarily WANT to ever be pregnant again, it's undecided at this point if or when we will have more kids, but I would give anything to live through the whole labor and birth experience again. It was truly amazing and it was a journey that I now share with countless other women before me and those after me.
I read this the other day and it sums up rather accurately the thoughts I have on my birth experience: "Birth is beautiful, mysterious and intensely intimate. Yet it is also ordinary, normal, and common place. Birth has a way of unveiling a woman's true inner strength where she can more fully embrace her own power. Every day women give birth not only to their child but to themselves as mothers. Birth doesn't complete her, it just reveals another layer of who she is by daring to expose her without filters, without pretense, with raw power to herself."
I am seriously in awe of the whole experience. Amazing. And now as an added bonus, we have a pretty cute little boy!
