Reflections

This whole weekend was spent cramming for the next section of the CPA exam- the business section- that I take, um, yep, tomorrow at 11am. Tim was working all weekend saving people's lives or something important like that and when he came home he asked me how my weekend was and I looked at him all like, I have no clue how to understand anything right now that doesn't involve the 500 pages of business shit I've been attempting to cram into my brain. Oh, and as a side note, it's like freaking all four years of college crammed into 500 pages. College that happened, oh, 5 years ago. And since then I've been doing public ACCOUNTING. Nothing related to this crap. I feel like I should have my MBA after this torture.

Enough complaining. It will be over tomorrow at this time.

Whoever wants to be critical right now and say that I should be studying can just take a seat. I do not think studying anymore would be effective. Enough hours are into it... Including about 30 over the course of the last few days. If I don't know it by now, I won't learn it in the next hour.

I think the difference this year is that I actually want this now. Last year I didn't know what I wanted but putting all of about 10 hours into studying for this exam leads me to believe that I probably didn't really care a whole lot. I guess that kind of happens when your life is all disheveled, though. Everything else kind of loses its importance until the pieces get put back into place.

I have to say, I've learned so much in this past year... not the least of which include finally finding a place where my life really is in order. The choices and decisions I made getting here were not always easy but sometimes the right thing to do is the hardest. Through it all I've finally found a place where life just seems to work. I know who my true friends are and I am so grateful for them. I've learned that it is possible to have best friends as a people you've been to hell and back with and that to keep those friendships speaks volumes about the character of the person as well as the relationship to begin with. I've also learned that there are some people who are shallow and fake and only see the reality they want to see. I've seen the strength and love of my family in action. I've met some new wonderful people that fulfill me and teach me things that make me want to be a better person. Most importantly, I found someone who shows me what this world is all about. He gives me hope for the future, strength in the present, and love to know that regardless of anything else in life, that will remain.

Funny how a little business and CPA exam can put so much into perspective and cause so many reflections about life. If only I was tested on that and not business crap... but I guess life really is just one huge test... And if you come out knowing you did the best you can, you pass.