Today. is. April. 2.

And my question is: how the hell is it already April?

I got on the computer to balance the checkbook/spreadsheet thing that I use to keep track of our money. I've been neglecting it since the middle of March. I keep paying bills, transfering money to saving, and buying stuff... it's kind of exhilirating to not even care how much money I have and to do it anyway. Probably not the best tactic in the long run. I developed this huge spreadsheet in excel that breaks out expenses by month, that reconciles what I say our cash balance is to the bank, and that tracks our expenses on a daily basis. Probably a lot like Microsoft money but I feel so much cooler because it's my own invention. And it's color coded. Way cool, let me tell you. I totally am a nerd. Anyway, point is, I'm not balancing the checkbook. I hereby declare myself queen of procrastination.

Last night was fun...Tim and I went out with a group of people and had a blast. We met a few really nice people that I can't wait to hang out with again.

I am so sick of drama at work. I swear to god, every week there's some kind of new drama... I've been the subject of a couple of office gossip/rumors, myself. (That, I might mention, sort of got blown up into an unbelievable scope). Anyway, I lost a friend of mine at work yesterday (I guess not that good of a friend, apparently). I was told something in confidence a while ago (which, really, in my opinion shouldn't be that confident...he's getting screwed, if people knew about it, they'd have his back). Long story short, he emailed me again Friday with additional news about this thing, I was pissed off about it, and I reacted outloud. The girl I'm working with noticed, asked, and pressed for details. She reminds me so much of one of my friends back home that I told her (and the confidential thing is about work, so yes, that was STUPID). Oh, and did I mention that she is really close friends with this guy's girlfriend? Ugh. IDIOT. She has no loyalty to me to not tell him that I told her. So she will tell the girlfriend that I know, which will lead to problems in the relationship (why does Jenn know? why are you talking to Jenn?) and will then proceed to tell the guy not to talk to me because I can't be trusted. So, that really blows. I feel so terrible and guilty about it. But it's not like I told anyone else.... I told one of his friends. In a moment of weakness. I guess I feel so bad about it because that's something I try to never do. But I also guess that if he's not going to forgive me and be my friend then he was never really a friend anyway. It still totally sucks. And I feel so unbelievably terrible. I was so angry for him and I just needed to tell someone. I should have just called Tim. He has no attachments to the situation. So I feel awful. But really, I guess the dude was never really a friend anyway if he can just walk away and not care even though I was telling someone who was equally as angry and who equally had his back as much. I guess I betrayed his trust though, and apparently that can't be forgiven.

See what I mean? DRAMA. I am sick of feeling like I'm back in high school and there's all of these problems, these issues, gossip and crap. I just want to go to work, to be a good person, to be good at my job, to not piss anyone off, to get along with my co-workers and to just work. I am sick of this shit! MORAL OF THE STORY: don't start gossip and DO NOT redistribute gossip. It's stupid, it's petty, it's annoying, and it hurts people. And it ultimately causes you to lose friends. Do not get involved with gossip. It just flat out sucks.