Monday, February 16, 2015

Month 5: Dear Bennett,

Well, here we are at almost 6 months and I'm back on the procrastination train. Wait, why do I keep saying that? It's not REALLY procrastination when my days revolve around lack of sleep, coffee, diapers, breastfeeding, chasing a toddler, coffee, more diapers, more breastfeeding, toddler tantrums, coffee, working out, and somehow doing real work in there. I'm not sure what it's called then... over extension and no time to blog properly other than a quick "daily" blog on my phone? Either way, it is life and we are loving it... despite the fact that some days we are in a sleep deprived coffee state. In fact, I'm sick now so I have time since I can only really sit on my butt, so we'll just run with it to make a quick trip down memory lane to revisit your 5th month.

Pictures:






 
(Sidenote: does it get much sweeter?? Look at you clutch your older brother's hand!)

 
CHEEESE!

Owen at 5 months (on left), you at 5 months (right)

 
The 5 months all together. Seriously, how are you not still a newborn?? I don't really get how time goes so fast, but in that vein, I think that time is really just an asshole.

 
Your 5th month started out with your first plane ride back east to see Grandpa and Grandma Baker in Kansas City for Christmas. You weren't too impressed and slept a majority of the flight. However, I would venture to say that you did not sleep quite as much as your brother did when he was a baby (on planes). But you have also been a better sleeper in general so I can't really complain a whole lot.

 
We started off the trip by going to downtown Kansas City to see a train exhibit. This was really more for Owen than you (sorry). I don't know that you cared much at all. I keep saying that but the truth is that really all you care about right now is my boobs (still no bottle for you! You HATE IT!) and making sure someone is around to hold you.  Anyway, Owen decided to get car sick right as we pulled up so it was almost visit that didn't happen but we chanced it, and good thing we did, as it did end up being car sickness and he was good as new within a few minutes (and LOVED it).
 
 
You say: Eh, it was ok.

 
We of course had to also visit Santa again and get pictures of you and Owen. You were, as expected unphased. In fact, you kind of liked Santa. Hey, he held you and was pretty snuggly and warm. I'm sure next year we'll get the traditional screaming baby at Santa pictures.



 
We also were able to go see my college roommate and her two kids. It was so fun to see her (and the kiddos) and Owen had a blast playing. I know in a year or two, you'll be running around with the best of them. I hope for you that in 30 years, you will have as good of a friend as I do in Wish and that your friendship will withstand all distance.
 
 
You of course also got a lot of loves from you Grandpa (sadly, this would not work in our favor at the end of the trip... foreshadowing!)
 
 
And from Grandma as well. She should have stayed away from Grandpa as well!

 
We also plopped you right where we plopped your brother two years ago to watch Grandpa's ancient (like from the 1940's) train. You were pretty fascinated, but I think you were more fascinated by the bubble lights on the tree than by the train.

 
Little Santa boy loving playing with his poppy. Shoot, you just love your poppy.

 
On Christmas Eve, we went to the Christmas Eve service at church and had to capture a picture of you and your brother in front of the tree. It wasn't "really" Christmas Eve for us as we weren't celebrating Christmas until the 27th when Uncle Jon and Margot could be there.  

 
And one of the two of you in your matching Christmas PJ's.

 
On actual Christmas morning, my three loves! Your grandpa had come down with the flu on Christmas eve so Christmas day we spent trying to stay away from him (but, like I mentioned before, at this point it was too late... we already had the bug, but it hadn't set in yet). It was a pretty low key day and didn't feel like Christmas at all.


 
We got a few naps in with you.


 
I'm not sure why but I think all of the pictures I took of our actual Christmas were on another camera so I don't have any. Oh well! It was a good Christmas even though you (of course) were not that into it this year and your grandpa was sick.

 
On the 28th, you were blessed at my home church. You did a great job and looked like such a stud. Owen was JUST getting Grandpa's flu so the timing was great (considering less than 24 hours later, he was in worse shape than I've ever seen him).

 
After a day of Owen being SUPER sick (and sleeping probably 12 hours during the DAY- unheard of), we made it to the airport. It was not looking good to make it to the airport the day before so this was huge. Your brother slept the WHOLE flight because he felt so bad.

 
You however were awake a lot. But we took selfies and it was all good.

 
We were so glad to be home. Everyone had been so sick back in KC and we were just glad to get out of there and be in our home. Owen was still sick for a while and then poppy got it, then me (for a day), and then you got it. Horrible!! It was the actual flu so maybe now we are immune to it for this year.

 
It was so sad to see you so sick. You didn't have it even as close to as bad as Owen did but it was still no fun. (You and poppy both felt like crap above...heart breaking).
 
And this was about how we spent our New Year's. On the couch, sick kids, not feeling great ourselves....AND in bed by about 10pm. Happy 2015 to us, it can only go up from here!!

 
We had a doctor's appointment to check out both of you guys right after the new year. 2015 was off to a blast! Ha! All was good, just the flu as we expected.

 
Another shot of you during sickness 2015... with your cough medicine seeping through your shirt.

 
Luckily, you recovered really well (finally, and just in time for Owen to get another cold!) So, once you were well, you were ready to play. And play with SOPHIE! Everyone loves Sophie. It's so weird... it's like a freaking dog toy!


We also pulled out Owen's old jumper, which you thought was pretty cool. Of course, Owen was all about showing you the ropes on this thing (and jumped in himself!)
 
 
You also rolled over this month! Of course, you did it a few times, then never did it again. I guess after a few times, the novelty wore off. Either that or we acted so excited you didn't want to give us the satisfaction of ever doing it again.

 
Poppy also continued to play with you all month and this series of pictures still cracks me up beyond belief. If I am ever having a bad day, I just pull up these few pictures and bust out laughing. This one is called "squishy face."
 
 
"Kinda funny" face.


 
"Poppy growled at me" face.


 
"Whoops, got scared" face. HAHA!

 
You found your fist this month too. In your book, this may have been your biggest accomplishment given how much you like that dang fist and the attached fingers.

 
A new friend of yours joined the world in late December and when he was a couple weeks old, you got to meet Eddie with me. You were totally intrigued, so maybe you'll be BFFs! Your mom, however, was blown away by how much bigger you were already than a newborn!  You look like a GIANT comparatively. In fact, were you ever that small?

 
Let's talk a little bit about sleep, shall we? This month we went through a bit of a regression. I think it was partly the extension of the naturally occuring 4 month sleep regression, growth, and sickness, but we started to lose some of those magical nights where you would sleep 7-11 hours straight. I was under no illusion that this would continue, but it sure was nice while it lasted. You are a MUCH worse napper than your brother. You don't like to be put down and would prefer to nap ON someone. So, our alternative is to put you in the swing. The problem with this is that you are (very soon) going to be too big for the swing. So, you better figure out this nap thing eventually and be able to be put flat down in your crib. I know this is on us, but we are partly waiting for us to all be well. I have no problem making you cry and uncomfortable if I know you aren't feeling bad. We'll get there. In the meantime, a lot of your sleep is on us and/or in your swing or in the car seat. Parent fail.





 
Notice the theme: SLEEPING ON MAMA. I am not going to lie, I love it. But when you're 18, I don't think you're going to want to nuzzle up to me in the same way. Luckily, I don't know many (if any) 18 year olds whose parents are still having sleep issues with their kids. So, I know that this too is just a stage that will probably pass way too quickly.   

 
You are developing in to such a sweet, sweet big boy. And did I mention it is happening way too quickly? I don't know when it happened- you know, that day you went from being my helpless newborn to this new stage where you are not an infant anymore but a baby who has a personality. And not only that but you laugh and know how to make us laugh. I feel like I should be able to pinpoint a moment but in my head when this transition happened...the moment you were a teeny tiny baby and all of a sudden, now you aren't. And then in my head, I start to lose it, because next thing I know, I'm going to be at your freaking wedding. At which point, I yell at myself to just STOP IT. And then look at you and tell you to just STOP IT. Stop growing so fast. As much as I say that and reiterate that time is an asshole for going by so quickly, it's also so cool to see your little personality developing and watching you reach each milestone. (And then of course there are the moments where you are screaming like all your toes are chopped off and your brother is throwing a class A tantrum and it feels as if my head might just explode in the biggest slow motion video ever... a minute that lasts for ten years. I am not a good mom if I give you the illusion that this parenthood thing is so breezy and EASY, and just goes by like lightning. There are moments, dear little B, that are absolute hell and seem to never end. You'll see oneday. You'll also see that each of those moments are not only worth it, but very laughable in retrospect).

 
One of the coolest things about parenting two of you is how cool it is to see you and your brother interact. You are going to be a TOUGH COOKIE. Your brother is relentless with you. He picks at you, steps on you, throws things at you. And you just take it. It's quite amazing actually. Of course, maybe you just feel the love in all of these things. I mean, his hugs really are like a 10000 pound mack truck coming at you to run you over. I'm sure you can feel the love. I can't wait until you realize that you might be bigger than him someday and just clock him with your own "loves." Despite it all, I think the two of you already have a bond and are going to be the best of friends.

In that vein, I think that the relationship you will have (and do have) with your poppy and Owen, is going to be unparalleled. It is so sweet to watch it unfold, even though sometimes I have to avert my eyes because mama does NOT like the flying tricks.

 
I'm also so glad to have another mama's boy. I would venture to say you are even more so than your brother. You cuddle WAY more. I will take your cuddles any day. Even if you are 18. Except for then, you will probably be about 2 feet taller than me, so I'll be cuddling in to you. Hopefully even then, though I'll be your little midget mom, you'll still find some comfort in my arms.

 



You are such an inquisitive little guy. Not like your brother, though. Your brother is the ultimate observer. You love to observe, but it's almost like you find everything more funny than him. You have a lighter spirit. He has an inquisitive, have to figure it out spirit before he opens up (and then he's hilarious). You, from the get go, look at something, observe quickly, and then just smile or laugh. You are very social from the get go. I hope that this remains your personality. It is much like your poppy, and is one of the qualities that I so admire about him.
 
 
Your smile lights up a room, our lives, and our hearts. (Gosh your mom is a cheese ball... you guys seriously have RUINED me in that aspect!) We are blessed beyond measure to have you as a part of our lives, and I think even Owen believes that too.
 
One thing that I learned this month is that even in the moments of absolute darkness (IE: we are all super sick, feeling like total poo), we all bond together, cuddle, and we have each other. We laugh through the snot and the fevers and the spit up puddles all over our heads, our beds, and in between the crevices. We eat chicken soup and have tylenol on every table and kleenexes littered throughout the house. It's not always roses and butterflies and everything that is amazing, but even in these not so great moments, we DO have the bond, the love, that is and will always define what a family truly is... and that is a gift that you will never be able to replace. My only hope is that you carry this with you-- this love of family and this bond-- and take it knowing that you are never alone. Then, you can someday spread it and recreate it in your own family which is nothing else other than a beautiful extension of this family. I can't wait to see it all unfold including even the ugly teenage years where you can't stand me. (But that being said, though I am looking forward to the future, still, time needs to slow down).
 
Love,
Mama.

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