Broken nose and my problem with google

So, Tim has long arms. This becomes a problem when he's sleeping because they become erratic arms. As in he has no control. WHATSOEVER. It's not like he can help it, we all have our weird sleep habits...and this just happens to be his. (I have to say, as a sidenote, I am just SO GLAD he doesn't snore).

I have told him for several months that he keeps whacking me in the head in his sleep. And that I have physically MOVED his arms out of my way to prevent getting hit at night. Which by the way? A word about getting hit in the middle of the night?

Reminiscent of coming up the stairs as an innocent 5 year old and my dad screaming BOOOWOOOOBOOOO with arms over his head, sometimes a mask on. And then me, a little 5 year old girl, almost bursting into tears from the mixed emotions of being scared out of my mind and laughing at the hilarity of the situation (meaning, PHEW. It's just my dad being silly. No bad guy). But then again, I probably could have had the child equivalent of a heart attack because my heart was beating so rapidly.

Well, Tim's arms? At 3am when I am in a dead sleep and I get a WHAAACK to my head temple?

About as scary as that 5 year old experience. And then I'm awake the rest of the night trying to avoid the erratic arms.

Earlier this week, it got out of control. The right arm found my nose and decided that it was going to destroy it. I woke up and WOW. Once my heart slowed down and I realized that I just had another encounter with The Arms, I could only think "uh oh" due to the throbbing in my nose.

I thought it was probably just bruised but it was the middle part of the underside of my nose (not the bone on top). Weird, right? So I look this up on the internet.

SOMEONE TAKE GOOGLE AWAY FROM ME.

This was a HUGE MISTAKE. Again.

Apparently if nose injuries are serious enough to this septum (the part dividing your nose), it can COLLAPSE.

Symptoms:
1) Pain in septum part of nose that won't go away. CHECK
2) Nose congestion. CHECK

OH MY GOD MY NOSE IS GOING TO COLLAPSE.

I think had a panic attack, I'm pretty sure (I restrained myself from googling panic attacks) because after I brushed by teeth after about 4 days of dealing with nose pain and the inability to even touch my nose LIGHTLY with a makeup brush to apply makeup, I thought that my nose looked crooked on the one side. Kind of indented. It had already been swollen and slightly discolored all week but CROOKED? INDENTED? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

MY NOSE IS DEFINITELY COLLAPSING. FREAKING OUT.

So I kept asking Tim if he thought my nose was collapsing and what I should do and he assured me that it looked fine but I swear it looked funny. And my heart was beating 100 miles per minute (or whatever the measurement is that=really fast heart rate) and I'm actually debating TAPING and putting stints in my nose with TOOTHPICKS before going to sleep. As if that would prevent collapse. See, google, what you did to me? If I hadn't looked at you, I would have just gone on my merry way assuming that my nose would heal and be just fine. I'm pretty sure I stayed awake mostly all of that night. Or at least kept waking up to touch it to make sure it was still in it's proper position. Google? Here's my middle finger for that crappy night.

Well, I called an ear, nose and throat doctor for an appointment. After the intense, unsubsiding pain for a week, I thought, I'd better get this checked out because I don't want to do a nose dive while trying to surf and then see a nose, MY NOSE, floating by me along with my surfboard to get eaten by Hawaiian sharks. (THIS IS WHY I HATE GOOGLE. IT TURNS A REASONABLE PERSON INTO A COMPLETE IRRATIONAL PERSON). I guess I should clarify here. It's not TOTALLY google's fault. Google is just the messenger and you shouldn't blame the messenger. BUT WHY can't the search results deliver results other than the WORST POSSIBLE? I think I am going to boycott the internet. Well. At least in cases such as this one. And any other injuries/illnesses that I might experience.

It's now 4 days past that, the day I was supposed to go to the ENT doctor. Well, due to the October 15 deadline at work and complete insanity that work is at this time of year as a result, I stopped freaking out about my nose collapsing, probably because it wasn't on my list of things to think about and do in order to meet the October 15 deadline. And this morning I realized that, hey, it might even feel a tiny bit better. So I didn't go. If it's feeling better, that's progress. And seriously, it's not like it was THAT hard of a hit. I've been hit on my nose much harder. So I'm ok. Even though in every situation, google's search inquiries make you think that the worst possible scenario will happen to you RIGHT NOW. And then makes you freak out. When you shouldn't. And you know, rationally, you shouldn't. But after a few irrational days, your rational self FINALLY returns and you realize how ridiculous the whole thing was. But at least a mildly entertaining story to tell.

I will say, though, that Tim's erratic arms are still not fixed. I got whacked in the throat last night (a new spot!) I am thinking in investing in some rope to tie his arms behind his back at night.