The Hair Memo

So here’s the deal on the hair: as noted in previous posts, before I left Phoenix, I went in to get my pretty brown color touched up and we.went.black. BLACK. Unintentionally, not to my knowledge BLACK. Maybe this word when talking about hair is not alarming to everyone but as someone who is naturally blonde and has always been blonde, just the thought of black hair kind of tripped me out. I never did the blacked out gig in high school so looking in the mirror after getting all of my poor hairs turned to black, I was nothing SHORT of alarmed. This may sound vain-in the same note as the missing eyelash post- but I walked around as someone who looked a little goth freakish for several weeks so I think that vanity in this case is excusable.

I always knew my hair lady in Phoenix was a little crazy. I can’t really seem to explain why other than she always talked about herself and her ailments, and referred to everyone I talked to as astrological signs. “Oh, how’s that Scorpio doing?” She only drives a radius of 2 miles and won’t go farther- even if its by boat, plane, bicycle, whatever. And the biggest flaw in her is that she blamed ME for my hair turning black because I didn't tell her it was going to be "that time of the month" soon... like a week AFTER I had my hair done. In that case, isn't it kind of always going to be that time of the month soon for women? It was insane. And this whole situation is comical in the fact that she always makes herself out to be a perfectionist (and tells all of her clients this about 500 times per visit). Anyway, she always HAD done a decent job on my hair and was reasonably priced. So I stuck with her. Hair people are excruciatingly hard to find. If girls were to develop 10 facts of life that never change, this would make the list. That being said, the effort it would’ve taken to find a new person was just not worth it to me. So I stuck with my lady knowing that she was slightly insane.

But capable of giving me black hair?? Seriously? And not realizing how retarded it looked? Oh that's right. She's a perfectionist and I am the retarded one because at one point or another during the month, I would be on my period. Silly me, I can't believe I forgot to tell my hairdresser that. Next time I go to get my hair done, I'll bring my medical charts, thanks for giving me the heads up on needing to do that.

Within 3 days of arriving in Washington, I already had an appointment made with William- Tim’s sisters and mom’s hairdresser for many years. He is a very eccentric man, so I was thrilled just to meet him after all of the stories I’d heard. When I walked in there, the first thing he said to me after giving me a huge bear hug was “What in the hell happened to your hair, girl?”

Um, yeah. It was that bad.

He still wonders how a hairdresser could have let me walk out of her salon with a) black hair and b) what he says was a terrible hair cut. Like I knew THAT. It wasn’t ideal but it didn’t seem like that bad of a cut.

Oh, and for the record, he has been doing this for 20 years and he says that apparently I don't need to disclose my menstrual cycle (and "he frankly doesn't want to hear about it.") That's good because I'm pretty sure that tracking down my medical records just to get my hair dyed could be quite the bitch.

Anyway, I spent FOUR HOURS in the salon with him that day getting my hair slightly back to normal. It look about three hours of leaving bleach on to get the horrendous black color lifted out. Then I was carrot top again. He then applied an ash blonde color to tone down the red so now it is a soft redish blonde. I went back about a week later to get a few more highlights in to make it even less red than it initially was (not many because he’s scared my hair is so fragile now that it will all fall out- now THAT would be a good post). He also cut my bottom layer up to the layer above it. The bottom layer was very stringy and I thought it kind of looked ridiculous. He confirmed it. So now my hair is short- above my shoulders in a very cute bob cute that I absolutely adore. It makes my hair look so much more thick and full. Now I just need the color to get back to normal. William says he just can’t wait for it to grow out a bit because he has no idea what my natural color even is. At this point, neither do I. But as I see it, now I officially know what it is like to have each color of hair in the hair color spectrum. I guess that’s like accomplishing a life goal or something. Or it at least makes me more in tune to knowing what hair color I actually love, and more importantly, what color actually fits me.