Jenn: The day I almost lost a piece of my soul.

I am being a tad bit dramatic. I blame hormones. And the fact that I am freaked out. FAH-REAKED.

So. Here's the story.

Justin and I took Owen to his nine month doctor appointment on Tuesday. Wherein he got a shot, per the usual. We do one shot at a time versus a gazillion-or 6- shots at once (us crazy hippies). So, pretty much everytime we are in there, he gets a shot. It's our compromise for vaccination...he's vaccinated as I do believe there are benefits to being vaccinated (I KNOW, who would have thought?!) BUT, he gets them one. at. a. time. It's a painfully slow process as I feel like we are never going to be done with shots but I also believe it's the best way to not overwhelm his poor body. To each their own. Don't judge. I know vaccinations is a touchy subject so let's move on.

So, he gets his shot and of course a little bandaid to cover the injection point. We go on with our day.

That night, I have a consultant wine night in Seattle for my Rodan and Fields business (so much fun and so inspiring by the way!) so Justin is in charge of getting Owen down for the night. He knows the whole routine so it's not a big deal, though it is only the 2nd time ever he's been in charge of the nighttime routine. He gives him a bath, and even sends me a picture of Owen in the bath. I guess Owen was just going nuts in the bath playing, playing and squealing.

After bath, Justin takes him upstairs to dress him and give him a bottle (usually I nurse him, but it's all the same). So, continuing on with the routine, no issues. Most nights, Owen nurses like a champ but he wouldn't really take the bottle which Justin thought was a little weird. But, he figured he ate a good dinner and I nursed him before I left so he just put him down. I guess Owen was playing in his crib for a while but eventually crashed. No issues noted.

When I got home at 9, Justin told me he wouldn't really eat his bottle which I thought was odd but didn't really think much of it. I went up to dream feed him around 9:30 (as per usual) and he wasn't really nursing much either. Sucking a little but not like normal. Again, didn't think much of it.

Around 2am, he woke up screaming. I thought this was a little odd at the back of my mind (again). We've been teething FOREVER (a couple of months) so I figured his teeth were bugging him, even though he usually doesn't wake up in an all out scream. I nursed him, gave him some teething tabs, and put him back down. Still screamed.

Huh.

So, I picked him up and rocked him and he fell back asleep. Again, odd. Guess it wasn't his teeth. I thought, maybe a nightmare?

Around 6am we heard him in his crib coughing. Again, didn't think much of it but went to get him as it meant he was awake. Wednesdays Justin goes in to work later so we brought him in to bed to cuddle with us. He was sort of gagging (like the gag reflex gag) in bed and I made the comment that I hoped he wasn't sick. I took a closer look at him and said, "there's totally something in his mouth!" Justin said, "no there's not." I looked again and didn't see anything.

A minute later?

I was convinced again there was something in his mouth. I was determined to pry it out, even as Justin and Owen looked at me like I was crazy and I even thought I might be crazy.

Two minutes later? Mama pulls out tweety bandaid. Still STICKY tweety bandaid. To which Justin and I both said in not such graceful terms "WHAT IN THE HELL?"

First of all, if you look at the picture above that Justin sent at the end of Owen's bath, the bandaid was still on. Secondly, the whole process of putting jammies on is about 2 minutes so somehow in that five minutes period transition from bath to changing table to jammies on, when Justin wasn't looking for 10 seconds, Owen saw the bandaid, pulled it off (which had to take some effort given that it still had stick after being in his mouth all night), and put it in his mouth... then proceeded to sleep with it in his mouth FOR TWELVE HOURS without either of us knowing.

Insert minor heart attack.

At first, we both kind of laughed about it. Like OMG, our kid seriously slept with a band aid in his mouth all night and HOW did that happen? But then, we just freaked the eff out. Because we started thinking about what could have happened. It COULD have obstructed his airway. Easily. It could have killed him. It could have cut off his airway and we wouldn't have had even the slightest of clues, so even if he would have lived, he could have easily been brain dead. There are so many scenarios that could have happened that didn't. And honestly, it was no ones fault. It's so hard to protect your kid from everything. It's impossible. Even if you are nazi about it, you still aren't going to be able to.

When we found the band aid and sent up a little (HUGE) "THANK YOU" for watching our precious baby and not letting this thing hurt him, I realized how little control we really have. The night before (ironic really), I was reading a blog post that my dear friend had written about how she had lost her baby at approximately 6 months pregnant. I don't really know the details of why or how it happened other than this post that she wrote had me in utter tears. I saw a picture of her with her tiny tiny baby and I was just bawling my eyes out. I don't know that there are ever words that can help in a situation like that, other than just knowing that there is support there and knowing that there is a reason that things happen that you may not understand for years.

I had shared this with Justin and we had made the comment that you just never know how much time you have with someone. We reflected on this as we were saying thank you to whoever and whatever saved Owen from the mighty band aid...and who continues to allow us to share this life with him every day. Life is just so fragile and you really don't know how long you will have with you kids- or each other- or really anyone in your life. Anything can happen at any point in time, from the least expected source. At the end of the day, I think the most important lesson is that if you are still surrounded by the people you love most and hold good memories of those you've loved and lost, and are able to laugh and surround yourself with all the good things life holds, you're doing pretty dang good. Life can be so hard and painful, but it can also be beautiful and joyful... perhaps partly from living through some of the painful times and realizing just exactly how blessed you are. So our lesson was this: cherish every moment, remember how precious every moment is.

In addition to that major perspective reminder, we also learned a very important lesson: REMOVE ALL BANDAIDS post shots.