Friday, April 18, 2008

How I know.

It is the end of the 5th day of a battle with the flu. The second battle of the year and the one thought that might reign over me. Tim and I both have missed days of productivity because we have been crippled with fevers over 101 degrees and aches that make us feel like we are 101 years old.

Today we were feeling slightly better. Sleeping an average of 15 hours a day for the past 5 days coupled with a slight addition to pain/fever reducers (aka Tylenol) has kind of boosted our bodies back into semi-functioning. We have actually regained our appetites and tonight we decided to actually make food. We were also starting to get slightly bored... another sign that maybe we see the light at the end of the tunnel. We thought about going outside but wait. Oh, we can't. Why? It's SNOWING. ARE.YOU.KIDDING.ME?! Last Saturday it was 82 degrees and now it is snowing. I think, just maybe, I could possibly be back in the midwest without knowing it.

Anyway, we decided to make burgers tonight and it was a royal disaster. We were going to make sweet potato fries to go with the burgers but those turned into a sloppy orange mush. It didn't really matter because we probably still weren't hungry enough to eat them anyway. The burgers were done long before we decided to chuck the fries and as we were putting mayonnaise on their rubbery goodness (as a result of getting overdone), I look up from what I was doing to see Tim bellowing over me with mayonnaise on a knife over my head. Uh oh. I grab the jar as my defense.

And then I have a smear on my nose. Damn. Score one Tim. I then chase him with the jar and get some on his face. Yes. Nicely done!! We are then running around the island in the kitchen full on in our mayonnaise war when it happens. I am held down by Tim with the knife of mayonnaise coming straight for my hair and screaming about how I have bad mayonnaise/hair related memories.

Flashback: when I was about 12 years old, my mom read some health article about how mayonnaise and the egg whites in mayonnaise is good for your hair. Well, my mom only used to buy miracle whip. Um, has anyone ever SMELLED miracle whip? In my 12 year old innocence, on a HOT summer day I allowed my mom to put miracle whip all over my hair. Though, I'll have to ask her why she thought that her 12 year old daughter's hair was in such bad shape to need this mayonnaise treatment... I know she had good intentions but the outcome? Horrible. I smelled like miracle whip for WEEKS. And not just smelled. Reeked. I do have to say though, my hair was incredibly soft.

To the present.... I am currently getting globbed by big knife fulls of mayonnaise. In my hair. On my face. On my clothes. I then, intelligent person that I am, decide to jump so that I can get mayonnaise in his hair. He was already in the process of washing it off his face though so in the meantime, he is protecting himself by the spray sink water. I got drenched.

I'm not exactly sure who won this impromptu war although by the end we were both dying laughing and hacking so much that it would have been amusing for anyone to watch. And here is how the story ends. At the end of a horrible sick week, on the verge of a disaster dinner, with mayonnaise in my hair, my shirt soaking wet, hacking up both my lungs, and looking at the snow falling outside on April 18, I am happy and content. Laughing.

Tim's version: Hi blogger land?!?!?! So apparently I'm talking to who knows who?? But anyway, I was about to spread some mayonnaise and decided to smell it myself when I got a tiny dab on my nose, but Jenny didn't see that, so I got the BRIGHT idea, but NO. I'm way too nice, so I tell her what I was going to do.. Then I proceed to tell her that it really DOES smell bad.. SHE BELIEVES ME?!?! Why? Must be her good faithful heart in her fiance. So naturally I put a HUGE smear on her nose! :) And thus the war started..

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