9 1/2- hours left in Phoenix as a resident.
7 approximate hours I cried yesterday. Not so bizarre considering how many good friends I have here and how many memories I made here.
0 hours cried today (but I still have 9 hours here... give it some time).
2 hours yesterday spent at my hair lady's salon where my hair was subsequently died BLACK. BLACK, PEOPLE! Do you realize I have gone from blonde, to red, to brown and now to black? What is freaking going on?? And now I look like a freakin emo girl... I feel like I should paint my nails black, wear all black and put pink tips on the end of my hair to really fill the part.
0 hours spent at my hair lady's salon today. But don't worry that will change- I have an appointment in a half an hour to attempt to get it back to brown. Cross your fingers that it doesn't turn to red again.
5 number of days I have been without a clump of my eyelashes. Black hair and missing chunks of eyelashes go GREAT together. I look awesome.
24 hour road trip ahead of us- if we were driving straight through
1-the highway number we will be taking all the way up the California coast.
I start my move to Washington today. TODAY.
Um, holy freaking SHIT. Seriously.
Update: Spent two hours at the hair lady's salon today. I think it is now a nice shade of brown. She had to put BLONDE on it to get it to go lighter if that is any indication of just how black it was. And then, the craziest part- it was MY fault. I didn't tell her if "that time of the month was close or not." Because apparently 1) I am supposed to tell my f-ing hairdresser if I am on my period and 2) if it is close to that time of the month (which, granted, it is-sorry if that is too much information) then hair takes color a lot stronger. That is the stupidest thing I have honestly ever heard in my life. Because my period is a few days away, my hair turned black. That is ridiculous. Does anyone know if there is validity to this?
And still no crying. Whoo hoo! On a roll!! Now time to pack. Only 6 more hours.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Freaking Vanity
So yesterday morning, I'm getting ready for my (last!) day of work. Everything is going normally... I stumble out of bed and into the shower, put lotion on, brush out my hair, put clothes on, start the process of makeup.
I'm almost done with the makeup part of my routine and I'm finishing it up with curling my eyelashes. Now, I have to say, I've been intrigued with the damn eyelash curler since I was in about 5th grade. At first it was just a fascination with this crazy looking thing. It was like some funky medical tool that somehow was supposed to make me look prettier. And the craziest thing was that somehow this thing went by your eyes! Woah. 8 years later in high school, I finally caught on to what it was supposed to really do. I perfected the art of curling and it has been full on love ever since. Without curling, my eyelashes are long but they stick straight out. Trust me when I say it is not hot. Since I picked up the thing in 5th grade, my mom has always warned me about it and her experience of one time managing to pull out all of her eyelashes with the stupid thing. I didn't really pay attention because I've never pulled any eyelashes out.
Well, I'm not exactly sure what happened yesterday morning, but something made me jump while I was curling my eyelashes and GUESS.WHAT.FREAKING.HAPPENED!?
Yeah.
A chunk of my eyelashes fell out. I am now eyelash-less in the middle of my left eye. Big clump. Missing.
I googled eyelash growth and I am happy to report that it takes FOUR to EIGHT weeks for eyelashes to grow back. Ugh. Hello, fake eyelashes!
I hate it when my mom turns out to be right... even if it is 15 years later. But, mom, as an FYI, I still refuse to give up curling my eyelashes. Yes, I am that stubborn. I am dad's daughter, remember?! I just need to make sure going forward that, when performing the curling process, I am in a secure, soundproof location so that nothing can cause me to make sudden movements which in turn causes the poor little eyelashes to rip out which subsequently causes me to either 1) look like a freak show or 2) Have daily fights with fake eyelash glue. For four to eight weeks. Awesome.
I'm almost done with the makeup part of my routine and I'm finishing it up with curling my eyelashes. Now, I have to say, I've been intrigued with the damn eyelash curler since I was in about 5th grade. At first it was just a fascination with this crazy looking thing. It was like some funky medical tool that somehow was supposed to make me look prettier. And the craziest thing was that somehow this thing went by your eyes! Woah. 8 years later in high school, I finally caught on to what it was supposed to really do. I perfected the art of curling and it has been full on love ever since. Without curling, my eyelashes are long but they stick straight out. Trust me when I say it is not hot. Since I picked up the thing in 5th grade, my mom has always warned me about it and her experience of one time managing to pull out all of her eyelashes with the stupid thing. I didn't really pay attention because I've never pulled any eyelashes out.
Well, I'm not exactly sure what happened yesterday morning, but something made me jump while I was curling my eyelashes and GUESS.WHAT.FREAKING.HAPPENED!?
Yeah.
A chunk of my eyelashes fell out. I am now eyelash-less in the middle of my left eye. Big clump. Missing.
I googled eyelash growth and I am happy to report that it takes FOUR to EIGHT weeks for eyelashes to grow back. Ugh. Hello, fake eyelashes!
I hate it when my mom turns out to be right... even if it is 15 years later. But, mom, as an FYI, I still refuse to give up curling my eyelashes. Yes, I am that stubborn. I am dad's daughter, remember?! I just need to make sure going forward that, when performing the curling process, I am in a secure, soundproof location so that nothing can cause me to make sudden movements which in turn causes the poor little eyelashes to rip out which subsequently causes me to either 1) look like a freak show or 2) Have daily fights with fake eyelash glue. For four to eight weeks. Awesome.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Changes are a'brewin...
Last weekend my Seattle man flew in to help me move. We got the moving truck early Sunday morning, packed up my stuff, and he was on the road by himself-with all of my stuff- by 2pm that same day. [And, as a side note, he then drove the next 25 hours straight up to Seattle. Yes, I just gave an example of craziness in its finest form. But, I must also mention that it was the sweetest thing ever because now 1) My stuff is up in WA 2) My stuff is unpacked 3) Now we can travel up the beautiful coast of California and Oregon over the course of 4-5 days starting May 31 without worrying about being in a huge truck that is towing my car. I am a lucky girl. ]
After we got the moving truck, I led us home so that we could start loading the truck. The most bizarre thing happened: I started crying and I'm pretty sure I only stopped for a few brief periods throughout the day until I went to bed Sunday night. It was completely unrelated to hormones and more related to the fact that all of a sudden all of THIS- these huge, huge life changes- was reality, as evidenced by the mostly empty house. I was crying but I was both happy and sad. Sad to be leaving this place, happy to be going to a new place. Sad for some of the changes that occurred while I as in Phoenix, happy for the people that I've met and who I am today.
Tomorrow is my last day at work in Phoenix and I'm feeling sort of the same way. Happy and sad and it's unclear which emotion is more dominant. I'm mostly happy but still sad to be leaving the place that is familiar to me, the place that I know. Regardless of how exciting and fun it is to go to a new place, it is always somewhat intimidating to start over completely from scratch.
But next week, on Wednesday night, I will be driving west on the 10 and out of this place that is home to me, on my way to another place that will become home to me over time. It's a strange. That's really all I need to say is it is just flat out strange. Almost incomprehensible. It's so funny how things do or don't work out. And many people may not understand me or agree with decisions I've made in my life-particularly in the past few years, but the thing is that the future works out in a way that is perfect. Now is the future of my past and things have fallen into place in a way that I never in a million years would have expected but looking back I know I will say without a shadow of a doubt that it couldn't have worked out more perfectly. I am happy and I am at a place where I feel is right, where I am content.
The one thing that I am a firm believer of is that with anything in life, all you need is love- love for your work, your family, your spouse, yourself. You need a love and passion for all things- the kind of feeling that creates joy, that completes you, that makes you feel whole. It's a joy and a feeling that can never be asked to be anything more than it is and you know when you find it. The paradox is that what it is, is beyond imagining- it is real, true, and more powerful than anything else that exists in this world. I have never felt so sure of anything in my life and know that I am on my way to getting to this place of complete, utter joy. It doesn't mean that I am not sad to be leaving here (I most definitely am-I know I will cry even more in the next few days) but it means that I know that even though I don't know exactly what the future will be like in the place where I am going, I am making the decision that's right for me at this time in my life, and as a result, the future will work itself out in a way that is undeniably perfect.
After we got the moving truck, I led us home so that we could start loading the truck. The most bizarre thing happened: I started crying and I'm pretty sure I only stopped for a few brief periods throughout the day until I went to bed Sunday night. It was completely unrelated to hormones and more related to the fact that all of a sudden all of THIS- these huge, huge life changes- was reality, as evidenced by the mostly empty house. I was crying but I was both happy and sad. Sad to be leaving this place, happy to be going to a new place. Sad for some of the changes that occurred while I as in Phoenix, happy for the people that I've met and who I am today.
Tomorrow is my last day at work in Phoenix and I'm feeling sort of the same way. Happy and sad and it's unclear which emotion is more dominant. I'm mostly happy but still sad to be leaving the place that is familiar to me, the place that I know. Regardless of how exciting and fun it is to go to a new place, it is always somewhat intimidating to start over completely from scratch.
But next week, on Wednesday night, I will be driving west on the 10 and out of this place that is home to me, on my way to another place that will become home to me over time. It's a strange. That's really all I need to say is it is just flat out strange. Almost incomprehensible. It's so funny how things do or don't work out. And many people may not understand me or agree with decisions I've made in my life-particularly in the past few years, but the thing is that the future works out in a way that is perfect. Now is the future of my past and things have fallen into place in a way that I never in a million years would have expected but looking back I know I will say without a shadow of a doubt that it couldn't have worked out more perfectly. I am happy and I am at a place where I feel is right, where I am content.
The one thing that I am a firm believer of is that with anything in life, all you need is love- love for your work, your family, your spouse, yourself. You need a love and passion for all things- the kind of feeling that creates joy, that completes you, that makes you feel whole. It's a joy and a feeling that can never be asked to be anything more than it is and you know when you find it. The paradox is that what it is, is beyond imagining- it is real, true, and more powerful than anything else that exists in this world. I have never felt so sure of anything in my life and know that I am on my way to getting to this place of complete, utter joy. It doesn't mean that I am not sad to be leaving here (I most definitely am-I know I will cry even more in the next few days) but it means that I know that even though I don't know exactly what the future will be like in the place where I am going, I am making the decision that's right for me at this time in my life, and as a result, the future will work itself out in a way that is undeniably perfect.
Friday, May 18, 2007
From the city of transience to the city of rain?
Although by now most people are fully aware of what's going on in my life, for those who are unaware, I am moving to Seattle, WA at the end of this month. May 31 to be exact. As much as I have loved Phoenix, it has never felt permanent especially given the events that have gone down in my personal life, starting pretty immediately following my arrival to this city. Most people don't find roots in Phoenix and mostly everyone you meet along the way is from the Midwest, from the northwest, from Cali... anywhere but from here. And generally people come for a while, or they have vacation homes here, and then they leave. It really is the city of transience.
Seattle, to me, feels more like home. Maybe it's because everything surrounding my decision to move to Seattle has just fallen into place without any additional effort. Or maybe it reminds me of the Midwest- at least in respect to the green surroundings and friendly people who have lived there for more than a year. I'm not sure what exactly it is, but I feel home there. I also met a boy there, upon my return trip from Alaska. As much as I have wanted to discuss this for the past 6 months, I couldn't due to the fact that some other personal issues were not finalized. They are now. To try to describe how I feel about this person would not do my true feelings justice. I'm sure there will be more to come in posts down the road... so I won't gush now. I also love the organic lifestyle of the northwest and the fact that so much of life in the northwest revolves around the outdoors and the natural living, irregardless of the rain. I am kind of over some of the "fakeness" that I see in some certain parts of Phoenix. As a Midwest girl, that has never been my favorite thing about here. And also as a Midwest girl, I have to admit, I am a little sick of the brown.
I am so excited to be moving, to a place I love, to start fresh. Life is a journey- a journey full of choices, choices that not everyone will agree with, nor do they have to. It is a journey that takes you places that you never saw yourself going but once you are there, it makes so much sense that you wonder how you missed seeing it beforehand. As I recently discussed with a dear aunt, it is a journey filled with ups, downs, surprises, joys, sadnesses, beauty, and wonder. Mostly you hope to find beauty and wonder but sometimes you do have a little bit of the yuck in between. That is what makes the steps that you take even that much more meaningful. I can't wait to turn the page and open this next chapter of my life- I know that my friends and my experiences in all of the places I have been-the Midwest, Phoenix-will be the backbone sustaining me in my new life in Seattle and they will be with me all of the way- whether they are physically present or not. It is always an adventure... and I can't wait to see what's in store. I will always treasure Phoenix and my time here.
I am so excited to be moving, to a place I love, to start fresh. Life is a journey- a journey full of choices, choices that not everyone will agree with, nor do they have to. It is a journey that takes you places that you never saw yourself going but once you are there, it makes so much sense that you wonder how you missed seeing it beforehand. As I recently discussed with a dear aunt, it is a journey filled with ups, downs, surprises, joys, sadnesses, beauty, and wonder. Mostly you hope to find beauty and wonder but sometimes you do have a little bit of the yuck in between. That is what makes the steps that you take even that much more meaningful. I can't wait to turn the page and open this next chapter of my life- I know that my friends and my experiences in all of the places I have been-the Midwest, Phoenix-will be the backbone sustaining me in my new life in Seattle and they will be with me all of the way- whether they are physically present or not. It is always an adventure... and I can't wait to see what's in store. I will always treasure Phoenix and my time here.
From the city of sun, the city of transience, the city of hot, warm winters with no rain:
To the city of beautiful nature- full of mountains, water, greenery, mild temperatures and yes, of course, some rain:
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Transformations
From blondie....
To a brief stint (IE: one day) as a redhead (the picture is a reminder for the future if I ever think I want to be a redhead again, I will RUN)...
To the end result- life as a brunette!
I've never been a brunette before (at least not this dark) and I've been surprised by how much I like it. It started off as just a temporary change. I get bored and I like to mix it up a little. I've been growing my hair out for what feels like DECADES (even though it's only been a year and a half) so cutting it was out of the question. The first round, it was a nightmare. I was a redhead. But at least now I know what it feels like to be a redhead for a day and can honestly say, I'm never going down that road again. This is so much fun- it brings out my eyes and I've been surprised at how many compliments I've gotten. I assume that one day I'll go back to blonde but this is so fun for now- and with so many life changes going on right now, it seemed like the perfect time to make an image change as well. And really, it takes guts to make such a drastic change so when you're feeling it, you just have to buckle up and go with it!
To a brief stint (IE: one day) as a redhead (the picture is a reminder for the future if I ever think I want to be a redhead again, I will RUN)...
To the end result- life as a brunette!
I've never been a brunette before (at least not this dark) and I've been surprised by how much I like it. It started off as just a temporary change. I get bored and I like to mix it up a little. I've been growing my hair out for what feels like DECADES (even though it's only been a year and a half) so cutting it was out of the question. The first round, it was a nightmare. I was a redhead. But at least now I know what it feels like to be a redhead for a day and can honestly say, I'm never going down that road again. This is so much fun- it brings out my eyes and I've been surprised at how many compliments I've gotten. I assume that one day I'll go back to blonde but this is so fun for now- and with so many life changes going on right now, it seemed like the perfect time to make an image change as well. And really, it takes guts to make such a drastic change so when you're feeling it, you just have to buckle up and go with it!
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