Or, O-E-O (your nickname that was brought on from a ridiculous song I sang to you in your first month which helped you calm down. Your poppy started to call you o-e-o and now even our friends are calling you that. Poor kid, you are going to be so confused about what your name really is...) Anyway, Owen, O-E-O, turtle butt, little man cub, we've made it through another month. And the strides that you've made cannot be seen better than in your monthly shot with the moose:
Month 1, SCREAMING.
Followed by your month 2 outtakes:
Looking cute as all get out...
And again... in the middle of smiles that I couldn't catch on the camera, sadly!
But making faces at me like, COME ON, Mom, a moose, really?
And then finally just chillin in your model pose. If nothing else these pictures serve to show me that you are growing way too fast. STOP IT. (although don't bring back the screaming, please...I don't miss it).
At the beginning of this month you had a date with Olivia, your first sort-of girlfriend that ended with a punch to the face. It was still rather close to your first month (you were only 5 weeks) so you hadn't totally gotten the memo that you don't have to scream ALL of the time... so, you screamed THE WHOLE time Olivia and her mom were here. I like to say it's because Olivia wouldn't hold your hand but I think it was just your witching hour you developed as a newborn that you haven't totally grown out of.
You still love playing with your poppy. I think here he was singing the O-E-O song I invented and you started to learn at the beginning of your second month to try to mimic our mouths. So you would open your mouth in an O every time your pops did. You sort of look scared but I think you mostly like it.
I wish we could say that this month was the month of sleep and from the outset, you'd THINK you were a great sleeper. See examples:
Ha.Ha.Ha. I can just hear you laughing now although you don't quite know how to do that yet. Sleep was completely elusive this month. You totally regressed in the sleep department and I finally get what it means to feel a tired like I've never felt before. Also? TERRIBLE. Your dad and I spent the first part of the month as zombies. Hell, we might be sleep deprived for YEARS. I realize that last month asking for a 6 hour stint was just comical to you as you not only didn't do that (well, you did- ONCE), you started to only sleep for THREE hours at a time. Meaning we'd get about 45 minutes in between times when you were awake.
Luckily, you're pretty cute when you aren't sleeping...we see the above face a lot. It's as if you are like, come on guys, sleep is WAY overrated.
Sometimes we see the above face, but not as much as we used to although you consistently still have your "grumpy" time in the evening. Just in case I haven't mentioned it, we don't miss the screaming. You still practice using your lungs but now it's mostly because you are hungry or tired. You fight sleep like it's no one's business (see also: why we are sleep deprived). A part of me is amused by this fighting sleep thing because it means you are EXACTLY like me. I hate naps, even when I'm tired, and I never admit that I'm truly tired. I don't know why I'm like this but I am not entirely thrilled I passed this trait on to you. Maybe you'll grow out of it? Maybe you'll start to really be more like your brother Oliver, the master of sleep? Pretty please?
More screams!
Sometimes screams are pacified with a simple finger in the mouth. I'm not sure why but you love to suck on your pops' pinky finger and occassionally you'll take one of mine too, though you prefer his. I think if it's mine you get pissed off because you know I have the boobies and a finger is just. not. the. same. MOM.
You are also sometimes pacified by rattles or rattle like noises (in the above case, a bottle of vitamin C). Hey, whatever works! We (well, I) had a MAJOR revelation this month in getting you to calm down... swaddling, ssshing, swinging you and giving you something to suck on (you know the "s's" that everyone talks about that helps to calm babies). I guess I'd ignored these tips and tricks before but tried them out this month and they TOTALLY worked on you (go figure, the new mom learns something from experienced pro-moms).
We took you on a few excursions this month to take advantage of the dwindling summer in Seattle. Another hike at St Edwards state park...
Your first "real" hike to the top of Rattlesnake ridge...
...(family shot!)
...a little wine and dinner at purple (one of our old go-to spots, old meaning before you)...
...of course there were still countless trips to the gym where you looked cute and did your own sort of work out while staying mesmerized by the lights and sounds of the gym. I think you are sort of the unofficial mascot there now...
...breakfast out in Seattle (though if we're being honest, this is sometimes more for the coffee/tea for your parents after a long night)...
We also watched a lot of football with you this month, as football season is in full swing. Sometimes you slept through every game (maybe this should be a trick we use at night?!)
And we had your last appointment with the midwives this month. We are going to miss them so much!
One more shot of you at the gym sleeping on your poppy.
Did I mention we have been working on getting you on a schedule this month to get you to sleep better? You are on a schedule now and sometimes take great naps like the above in your crib. Most times though the naps are only about 20 minutes and then you scream when you realize no one is around and holding you. But the schedule part is nice, just not the part of the schedule that keeps you consistently waking up every 3 hours, even at night.
It also got kind of cold this month so we were able to break out one of your brothers' old fleeces. It was so cute to put you in something that both of them wore.
We had several dates with your new buddies, Charles and Olivia... a lunch date and a coffee date...
And we met your newest buddy, Carter, who was almost as big as you are now!
Your faces are out. of. control. cute. And getting progressively cuter as you become more expressive. You make the above face after sneezing or during hiccups. Speaking of, you do this funny thing where you sneeze in 2s or 3s and you get hiccups at the same time every night, like you used to in utero.
We're still working on your green poops which was, honestly, the biggest focus this month. Basically every other day I was second guessing what I was eating (which was about 5 different things) and adding things in/taking them out and altogether freaking out because at one point you had green poop with specks of blood so CLEARLY something was not working. We tried a crazy elimination diet coupled with some chrons disease natural intestinal treatment on me to see if it would pass on to you and calm your gut down with no luck. We tried only eating 4 foods. We tried only eating 4 different foods. We tried EVERYTHING. To no avail.
I KNOW... this was the exact face I made too as we were working through this (you totally have my faces and definitely my bottom lip). At one point I was convinced I should just stop breast feeding due to my boobie issues (I had another clogged duct this month that thankfully did not turn into another case of mastitis!) and due to the fact that I was just starving and scared to eat anything because I thought it would hurt your gut more. But then I realized that even with a hypoallergenic formula, you might react. So we kept trying. Then my supply started to get low and I went another route. I pulled the "safe" foods... rice, turkey, olive oil and sweet potatoes- the foods I'd been living on. I replaced them with other safe foods- quinoa, fish, hemp oil and root vegetables (excluding sweet potatoes) and CRAZY ENOUGH this seems to be working... or at least it is better to the point where I can eat a lot or at least enough to keep my supply up. We've seen more yellow lately than we ever have before so we'll just keep going on this route and see what happens. I'm not sure if it's the food or if your gut is just maturing more.
I feel sort of silly that we've been so stressed about the green poop because YOU ARE HAPPY. You are growing. Hell, you are THRIVING. If I'm truly following my "mom instinct" my gut tells me that, yeah, you have green poops but they don't seem to bother you so at what point do we just try to work with it and make it better while at the same time just shrugging and saying, "well, he has green poops today?" When everything else is so good, GREAT even and you are developing exactly like you are supposed to, I feel a little ridiculous to spend so much time obsessing over the color of your crap. So, onward...
You have gotten so expressive this month and have really started to recognize who is who. You often make faces at us like this when we make funny noises at you.
You also seem like you are starting to try to figure out this big world... you ponder what is going on and you can tell your brain is just working away at figuring it all out. You aren't totally there yet but some things are definitely starting to click.
I have to say that the best part of this month is that you've started to smile. Despite the lack of sleeps, the green poops, and the lingering boobie issues, you SMILE intentionally at us. Oh, and you coo. You make these noises and these weird movements with your tongue as you try to "talk" to us. That right there makes all of the yuck melt away and makes me realize that I would do anything for you.
We've really fallen in to a routine this month and after feeling like the most ignorant mom in the world in your first month, I've realized that it doesn't matter. Because I could follow every book or pro advice to the last letter and it DOESN'T matter. Some things may work (and surprisingly have worked) but some things may not. In the end, YOU are making it and are alive, healthy, and happy despite the fact that some days I don't know what I'm doing and some days I think I could conquer the world because I'm such a rockstar mom. Day by day we're figuring it out together and I figure if you're smiling at me as much as you do, I must be doing something right.
And here's the part where I get all sappy and someday when you read this you will roll your eyes at your silly mom....I knew I loved you when you were born but since then, I've only fallen more in love with you...it's ever changing as I get to know you more and more. You don't quite realize your impact yet, but you have made us whole. You've made us a complete family and you've changed me (ask your dad, this is no small feat!) You've turned me in to a mom... someone who cries when you cry, hurts when you hurt, and will do anything to protect you. I've never felt quite like that before but I know without a doubt that I will always be here for you with open arms when you need to run in to them- whether you are happy or sad or just need a hand to hold. Your little personality is starting to emerge and while I love the little baby that you are, I sometimes yearn to see who you are going to become (just don't grow up TOO fast). You have brought us all together- I feel closer to my parents now because I see a side of them I hadn't seen before. I think that you've brought us closer to your brothers as you are a link between the family that we were and the family that we are now. You've enriched your dad and my relationship in too many ways to even get in to here (let's just say that you learn how much you really love another person when you see them at their worst after no sleep and your millionth night in a row of being up at 2am!) That's a lot for a little guy to have already accomplished in a short time. You've brought so much joy to our lives and we love you more than you will ever be able to comprehend.
Love,
your mama
